About Me

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I love a lot. I wait a lot. I try to find a lot to laugh at. I don't usually have trouble with that. I pray a lot. I'm not always sure who or what I pray to, but I firmly believe that prayer makes a difference. I try not to panic very often. I try to learn something new every day. I spend a lot of time poking my nose into other peoples' bidness via their blogs. I clean up an awful lot of feathers. You can dress me up, but you can't really take me out. I travel a lot when I can find bird sitters and we take them with us when I can't. I drink, prolly to excess, but I rarely get sick because my body is a hostile environment to germs (or maybe no SELF RESPECTING germ would LIVE in my body?) I collect: gnomes, passport stamps, MONEY-preferably US dollars or Euros, red headed womyn and chicks named Stephanie. My Momma taught me many many years ago that girls don't fart, they foosie. She taught me lots of other chit too. Thanks for stopping by-leave me a comment and let me know you were here, feel free to link to me, or email me at jacquelynn.fortner@gmail.com

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Pieces of me: Redux

1.  I could play both the race card AND the vagina card if I wanted to try to get an SBA loan or something that considers minority status.  I was born in Puerto Rico, so technically I can claim to be Hispanic as well as being a split tail.

2.  I evaluate roadkill for quality in case it might be something I need.  This is a holdover from when I used to play EverCrack...er...EverQuest.  Qualities range from ruined to pristine, and you never know when a spare pelt is going to be just what you need to complete your current quest.  I quit playing EQ when I was considering calling in sick so I could stay home and play.

3.  Now I play World of Warcraft.  I use the word play loosely, as I may get on every day for a week, then again I may not get on for months running.  I don't have any 'real' characters (over level say...20), I just get on to KEEL SHEET when I need to let off steam.  It feels good to KEEL SHEET when I'm all pissed off about something, and it keeps me from getting in people's faces, as I can be quite obnoxious when provoked.  Heh.  Understating the obvious, I know.

4.  I made a very stress reducing decision about 4 months ago.  Because gas was getting so expensive, I decided to try being a less aggressive driver to see if I'd get better milage.  No more taking off like I was coming off a pit stop at red lights, and I started using my cruise control religiously on the interstate (I do A LOT of interstate driving, hence my love of 'the bump' *snort*).  As a result of the cruise control decision (I set it at about half a mile below the speed limit) I am no longer screaming obscenities, calling people names, and generally speaking making an ass out of myself (okay-while I'm driving!).  I'm also not getting speeding tickets, which I only ever dodged by grace.  And I am getting a whopping TWO count'em TWO MPG more than I was pre-cruise.

5.  I have also made a concerted effort in the last year to be less impulsive.  As I've said before, I can be very creative when it comes to finding ways to spend the Innocent Bystander's hard earned dough.  I have a tendency to purchase (or manipulate the IB into purchasing) money holes: high dollar toys that KEEP ON COSTING.  So far, I've managed to NOT get a puppy and NOT get an expensive remote control boat for the IB and NOT get an antique car, preferably a Rambler.  But I WANT A PUPPY.  BAD.

6.  I like rocks.  This is a problem in Mississippi as it is made up completely of red clay and fire ants.  We have to import our rocks.  As in WE HAVE TO BUY THEM.  I think this is very unfair.  Everybody deserves a rock of their own.

7.  You would think #5 was a bald faced LIE if you saw what I bought at Fresh Market yesterday on my quest for broccolini.  I ended up with a pound of boiled shrimp, a rotisserie chicken, a very mature (oude) chunk of Gouda cheese, wasabi trail mix AND wasabi peanuts, oatmeal raisin pecan cookies, artisan bread, mini baguettes, mascarpone cheese, nutella, two bunches of broccolini, some baby asparagus tips, a high protein soy drink to try on Ahab, two bottles of organic juice, corn on the cob, organic yogurt, green been 'chips' (blech), cocktail sauce and the piece de resistance, a wee creme brulee.  AND I went to the TJ MAX next door and found...well, can't tell you that yet, because it might just be for YOU.  Christmas coming up and all, ya know?

Couple of notes:

Ahab remains on the mend.  I have so many little seed cups hanging all over the little birds' cage with little bits of this and that in each one that you can barely see the cage.  He eats a little better variety each day and is still cooperating with his meds/cream.  Nemo is very jealous that he is having to share so much of my attention.  Moby couldn't give a shit.  Ahab eats better, he eats better.  It pays to share a cage with the sick bird.

ALSO

I learned a very valuable lesson yesterday.  I learned that it would be wise to put on a pair of rubber/vinyl gloves PRIOR TO cutting open and digging around in a pomegranate.  I don't know how I'm going to get this shite off of my fingers.  Learn something new every day.  Check.

AND

The IB told me to go get myself a new 3G IPhone for my birthday.  This leaves me with a dilemma-what to do with my 8 month old, non 3G (uses EDGE technology), post MRI and post electrocution but works just fine and has 2744 songs on it (which can be removed) 16Gig IPhone?  Any suggestions?  And no telling me what my mama would do with it, Purv-I already offered to do that to YO MAMA, and she said only if I put it on vibrate and had YOU call it.  The apple didn't far fall from the tree in your case, did it?  *smirk*

5 comments:

Dana said...

Guess that depends. If you want money for it, Craigslist works sometimes. I think the coastal area has a listing? If you don't care to get money for it, you COULD do a contest? That, or you could send it over here to Texas. LOL

derfina said...

Ha! You got my hint! I was thinking contest. I don't want money for it, because for obvious reasons I can't warranty it, unless it is still under warranty-I honestly haven't checked to see because the only problem I've had with it is after the MRI my two movies (Under the Tuscan Sun and Great Expectations) and my one video (Feist 1234-I'm so gay) were erased. All of my music is still on it. I'm pretty sure I still have the box and all paperwork that came with it. SO...Suggestions FOR a contest?

darsden said...

It should be an extremely Fair contest...Like who has known you the longest...Yeah...that's a good one!! ROTFLMAO

derfina said...

Look. I thought I'd already gotten both yo mama and my mama outta the way, huz. (What a night THAT was!)

darsden said...

you coming to play lil girl...?