Pieces of me: Redux

1.  I could play both the race card AND the vagina card if I wanted to try to get an SBA loan or something that considers minority status.  I was born in Puerto Rico, so technically I can claim to be Hispanic as well as being a split tail.

2.  I evaluate roadkill for quality in case it might be something I need.  This is a holdover from when I used to play EverCrack...er...EverQuest.  Qualities range from ruined to pristine, and you never know when a spare pelt is going to be just what you need to complete your current quest.  I quit playing EQ when I was considering calling in sick so I could stay home and play.

3.  Now I play World of Warcraft.  I use the word play loosely, as I may get on every day for a week, then again I may not get on for months running.  I don't have any 'real' characters (over level say...20), I just get on to KEEL SHEET when I need to let off steam.  It feels good to KEEL SHEET when I'm all pissed off about something, and it keeps me from getting in people's faces, as I can be quite obnoxious when provoked.  Heh.  Understating the obvious, I know.

4.  I made a very stress reducing decision about 4 months ago.  Because gas was getting so expensive, I decided to try being a less aggressive driver to see if I'd get better milage.  No more taking off like I was coming off a pit stop at red lights, and I started using my cruise control religiously on the interstate (I do A LOT of interstate driving, hence my love of 'the bump' *snort*).  As a result of the cruise control decision (I set it at about half a mile below the speed limit) I am no longer screaming obscenities, calling people names, and generally speaking making an ass out of myself (okay-while I'm driving!).  I'm also not getting speeding tickets, which I only ever dodged by grace.  And I am getting a whopping TWO count'em TWO MPG more than I was pre-cruise.

5.  I have also made a concerted effort in the last year to be less impulsive.  As I've said before, I can be very creative when it comes to finding ways to spend the Innocent Bystander's hard earned dough.  I have a tendency to purchase (or manipulate the IB into purchasing) money holes: high dollar toys that KEEP ON COSTING.  So far, I've managed to NOT get a puppy and NOT get an expensive remote control boat for the IB and NOT get an antique car, preferably a Rambler.  But I WANT A PUPPY.  BAD.

6.  I like rocks.  This is a problem in Mississippi as it is made up completely of red clay and fire ants.  We have to import our rocks.  As in WE HAVE TO BUY THEM.  I think this is very unfair.  Everybody deserves a rock of their own.

7.  You would think #5 was a bald faced LIE if you saw what I bought at Fresh Market yesterday on my quest for broccolini.  I ended up with a pound of boiled shrimp, a rotisserie chicken, a very mature (oude) chunk of Gouda cheese, wasabi trail mix AND wasabi peanuts, oatmeal raisin pecan cookies, artisan bread, mini baguettes, mascarpone cheese, nutella, two bunches of broccolini, some baby asparagus tips, a high protein soy drink to try on Ahab, two bottles of organic juice, corn on the cob, organic yogurt, green been 'chips' (blech), cocktail sauce and the piece de resistance, a wee creme brulee.  AND I went to the TJ MAX next door and found...well, can't tell you that yet, because it might just be for YOU.  Christmas coming up and all, ya know?

Couple of notes:

Ahab remains on the mend.  I have so many little seed cups hanging all over the little birds' cage with little bits of this and that in each one that you can barely see the cage.  He eats a little better variety each day and is still cooperating with his meds/cream.  Nemo is very jealous that he is having to share so much of my attention.  Moby couldn't give a shit.  Ahab eats better, he eats better.  It pays to share a cage with the sick bird.

ALSO

I learned a very valuable lesson yesterday.  I learned that it would be wise to put on a pair of rubber/vinyl gloves PRIOR TO cutting open and digging around in a pomegranate.  I don't know how I'm going to get this shite off of my fingers.  Learn something new every day.  Check.

AND

The IB told me to go get myself a new 3G IPhone for my birthday.  This leaves me with a dilemma-what to do with my 8 month old, non 3G (uses EDGE technology), post MRI and post electrocution but works just fine and has 2744 songs on it (which can be removed) 16Gig IPhone?  Any suggestions?  And no telling me what my mama would do with it, Purv-I already offered to do that to YO MAMA, and she said only if I put it on vibrate and had YOU call it.  The apple didn't far fall from the tree in your case, did it?  *smirk*

Pieces of me

I was reading over at Cheaper Than Therapy this morning, and today's post got me thinking about some weird little things that make me ME:

1.  I took three years of Education for Ministry, an extension course through the University of the South that is taught on the local level at Episcopal churches.  Toward the end of the second year, the instructor (not a priest, a layperson) made a pass at me which somehow ruined the whole church experience for me.  At that point I was very involved-I taught Bible School, was in the choir, was very involved in a prayer group etc.  I started having panic attacks and wondered if I'd somehow given that person REASON to think he could do that, and it just lost its luster for me.  I'm sorry, but I don't like my spiritual leaders to have feet of clay.  Within six months, I quit attending church and my class altogether.

2.  I count.  I count steps.  I count the times I swallow when I drink and try to make them come out in multiples of ten (which can get somewhat cornfusing toward the end of a beer sodden evening).  I count sheets of toilet paper.  It doesn't matter so much how many of anything there are, I just have to count them.  I'm a counter.

3.  There is a particular bump in the west bound lane of I10 just past mile marker 56 which spans the entire width of the right lane.  I HAVE to hit that bump.  I WILL CUT YOUR ASS OFF to hit that bump.  My life might as well depend on it.  And-if I hit it JUST RIGHT it is almost like it is not there.  Those days I feel particularly lucky and get an insatiable urge to hit the casinos.

4.  I have a penchant for white cotton fabric.  This is not practical, as I have water problems that prevent white fabrics from staying white, but I will still buy just about anything made out of white cotton.  I must have a hundred white cotton t-shirts, white cotton (800, count'em 800 threadcount!) sheets, and ohmygoodness the kitchen towels.  I have enough white cotton tea towels to keep all the high school cafeterias in Mississippi sopped up for decades.

5.  The only number I have to give anyone as an emergency contact is Walmart's number, and I just tell them to page me overhead.  I'm more likely to be there than anywhere.

Well, enough of digging through my panty drawer for today.  I'm off to Mobile to go to Fresh Market since I couldn't go yesterday.  I'm sure they will have organic plain yogurt and fresh corn for Ahab (he's eating CORN-Hallelujah!) and some broccolini for me since I'm obsessing (go figure).  Hopefully the Purv will agree to go with, cuz then I can justify lunch at Olive Garden or the Jerusalem Cafe.  If not, I'll settle for a gyro.  

ENJOY your day!