About Me

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I love a lot. I wait a lot. I try to find a lot to laugh at. I don't usually have trouble with that. I pray a lot. I'm not always sure who or what I pray to, but I firmly believe that prayer makes a difference. I try not to panic very often. I try to learn something new every day. I spend a lot of time poking my nose into other peoples' bidness via their blogs. I clean up an awful lot of feathers. You can dress me up, but you can't really take me out. I travel a lot when I can find bird sitters and we take them with us when I can't. I drink, prolly to excess, but I rarely get sick because my body is a hostile environment to germs (or maybe no SELF RESPECTING germ would LIVE in my body?) I collect: gnomes, passport stamps, MONEY-preferably US dollars or Euros, red headed womyn and chicks named Stephanie. My Momma taught me many many years ago that girls don't fart, they foosie. She taught me lots of other chit too. Thanks for stopping by-leave me a comment and let me know you were here, feel free to link to me, or email me at jacquelynn.fortner@gmail.com

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Bleme me up Scotty, it's Sunday!

I got a huge compliment yesterday.  El Juevo (pictured above) and I were eating lunch at a restaurant yesterday and this little boy ran by us who had a squeaker in one shoe.  It was precious, squeak stomp, squeak stomp, squeak stomp, so we were laughing and commenting on how cute he was.  As his mother caught up with him, she realized what we were laughing about and started telling us about this lady giving her all kinds of clothes her child had outgrown (I guess I have one of those faces-people seem to open up to me very easily for some reason, and I'll never look a gift BFF in the mouth).  Anyway, she sort of pauses and looks at Alex and me sitting there and asks "Do you two have kids?"  I BARKED out a laugh and told her he is my youngest kid which flustered the snot out of her, but I let her know in no uncertain terms that I love her long time.  Juevo was not quite as amused, as he just focused on the squick factor of he and his mother having kids.  I wish I'd gotten her address-I'd have baked her a cake!

I was scrolling through my reader yesterday and came across an interesting bleme on Sunday Stealing, and fingered that since this is the last day of NaBloPoMo AND a Sunday, I would take the easy way out and use a fill in the blanker.  Of course, as I go through the list, I may choose to expound on some of my answers, so I apologize if this gets long.  Go throw in a load of laundry and pour yourself a cuppa and come back if you feel you should be getting something done whilst I peel away the Seven Layers of me:

LAYER 1: Tell us your...

* Name: Jacquelynn
* Birthday (month, day): November 21
* Birthplace: Rodriguez Army Hospital, San Juan, Puerto Rico
* Current location: 15 feet from the bank, 22 feet from the bottom
* Eye color: as Daddy used to say, shit brindle brown
* Hair color: hmm...which one?  A mixture of blondes, browns and grays
* Height: 5'4"
* Righty or lefty: Righty
* Zodiac sign: Scorpio 

LAYER 2: What's...

* Your heritage: German, Irish and Welsh
* The shoes you wore today: slippers so far
* Your weakness: seafood
* Your fears: Alzheimers.  I saw its effect on my grandmother and am afraid it is working it's  destructive powers slowly but surely down the family line.
* Your perfect pizza: Not really a pizza person, but a cajun seafood with white sauce is okay
* Goals you’d like to achieve: To be paid to do this!
* Your first waking thoughts: Time to make the donuts clean up bird shit
* Your best physical feature: My second toe on my right foot is kinda cute
* Your most missed memory: My grandparents

LAYER 3: Do you...

* Smoke: *clears throat* Not cigarettes
* Cuss: Absofuckinglutely
* Sing: The Good Morning Jesus song
* Do you think you’ve been in love: See *cuss
* Did you go to college: Yes
* Liked high school: Ehh. ^^shrug^^
* Want to get/stay married: YES
* Believe in yourself: I'm here, aren't I?  What's not to believe? *wink*
* Think you’re attractive: No one has ever gnawed off a limb to get outta bed with me
* Think you’re a health freak: *SNORT* yeah, right.  My innards ARE, however, antiseptic.
* Get along with your parent(s): Very very very very well
* Like thunderstorms: Nope.  I love them.
* Play an instrument: No.  I play with some instruments, though.  Heh.  I said instruments.

LAYER 4: In the past month have you…

* Drank alcohol: Um, Hello?...Did you not see yesterday's post?
* Smoked: Not a single cigarette
* Done a drug: see *smoked
* Made out: *sniff* Yes, but barely-the Innocent Bystander has been gone almost a month now.
* Gone on a date: No, but I have a date with my kids and parents to eat at Imperial Palace  Casino buffet tonight (and I'm sure you know what THAT means)
* Gone to the mall: Yep.  I did a tiny bit of economic stimulating yesterday.  
* Eaten an entire box of Oreos: *GAG* Not just no, but HELL NO.  I'm not a chocolate person
* Eaten sushi: If California roll counts.  I don't do raw fish
* Been on stage: The world is my stage, so I rectom so
* Been dumped: No
* Gone skating: No, but I skate vicariously through my hockey team (who got the crap beat out  of them last night, 2-1...The telling thing was shots on goal, though.  Stingrays had 53 shots on  goal, Seawolves had 12.  How farking embarrassing
* Gone skinny dipping: Nope
* Stolen Anything: One last roll in the hay with the IB before he left.

LAYER 5: Have you ever…

* Played a game that required removal of clothing: sure
* Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: see layer 4
* Been caught “doing something”: OHMY YES.  That is a post for Ornery Woman
* Been called a tease: *looks at you from beneath my lashes* Who, me?
* Gotten beaten up: Only by myself.  I beat myself up all the time.
* Shoplifted: Never


* Age you did get/hope to be married: trial run-21, real deal-28
* Numbers and names of children (either you have or want): Ronny-25, Alex-21
* Describe your dream mate: A little boy trapped in a grown man's body mixed with the  strength of a bear, the humor of a comedian, the patience of Job, and the wisdom to know that  I'm more bark than bite.
* How do you want to die: Gracefully but ALL USED UP
* What did you want to be when you grow up: At 5 I wanted to be a stewardess or a housewyfe-WOOT!  I wore stoopid little dresses back then too, so take that one with a grain of salt.
* What country would you most like to visit: Israel

LAYER 7: Now tell...

* Name a drug you’ve taken illegally: Qualudes (Gosh, I miss the 70s)
* Name a person you could trust with my life: Sessie (myne FIRST and PRIMARY wyfe)
* Name a favorite CD that you own: Anna Nalick Wreck of the Day
* Number of piercings: Seven.  Five in my right ear, one in my left, and my belly button
* Number of tattoos: One very groovy bird on myne foot
* Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: Once or twice-not sure
* Name a past experience that you regret: Dropping out of college before I got my degree



Freaky Poptart said...

Loved reading your answers. I got quite a few stink eye glances from 'Little Miss Grumpy' while having my giggle fits.

Oh, and I've been mistaken for Mini Man's girlfriend before too. He was horrified! HA!

Braja said...

I can't believe you didn't tell me it was your birthday. And that we're almost twins.

NurseExec said...

Great, funny answers. Glad I ran across you!

Rassles said...

I love how you named a drug of the seventies instead of *smoking*.

derfina said...

Freaky Poptart-I enjoyed yours, too! You now have a follower.

Braja-Just another trip around the sun-I'm more well traveled now. *wink*

NurseExec-Glad you stopped in. Hope to see you again!

Rassles-I considered myself very self controlled by sticking to naming just ONE. Those were the days. Sex, drugs and rock and roll. *sigh*


Strange Pilgram said...

You're a kick. How hilarious that someone asked you and your son if you had children. What a compliment. Once my Dad and I were walking and he had his arm around me and my Mom was walking about 50 paces back and she overheard some women say in disgust, "That man is old enough to be her father!"

oh, and the baby photo is FREAKing me out!

Anonymous said...

Happy belated birthday! But I gotta say, I'm with your son. Someone once asked my uncle if I was his wife and dude! That is so mean!

Pearl said...

Oh, my but we have some things in common.

Happy Birthday!


derfina said...

Strange Pilgrim-the pic makes me do a double take every time I look at it!

gnomespeak-Thankee kindly, Ma'am! And yes, he's wounded. I, on the other hand, am going to give my beautician a nice tip!

Pearl-Aye, but we knew that already, eh? And thanks!