1. I am a positive person. I was not always like that, but one day a light bulb went off and I realized life would be much easier if I focused on what I CAN do rather than what I CAN'T.
2. I do pray a lot. I am not always sure to whom or what I am praying and no one will ever accuse me of being religious, but I firmly believe in the power of prayer. I don't know if it is a focusing of positive energy or just how it works, but some things you just have to take on faith.
3. I blow my nose like someone's old grandpaw blowing hockers in his hanky. Now, I am not the most feminine of girls by any stretch of the imagination, but I recently realized just how ludicrous this sounded when I saw the look of HORROR on my gurrrlfriend's face as I turned around delicately wiping the edges of my nose. *snort*
4. I am an extremist. I like my coffee scalding hot and my beer ice cold, thank you very much. And I am going to drink them while they are still hot or cold, which means I drink them very quickly. Keep your "SLUGGO" comments to yourself.
5. I bit my nails until I was thirty three years old. I quit by wearing a rubber band on my wrist and snapping it hard every time my hands got close to my face. I didn't think it would work since I was aware of what I was doing, but it did. Now I pick my cuticles and scabs instead, so my hands are still a disaster.
6. I am very picky. If the coffee isn't Starbucks French Roast Extra Bold or the beer isn't Busch Light in a bottle, I don't want it. Don't give me your brand of something and tell me to just try it because I don't farking want it! If that hurts your feelers, I'm sorry. It's just how I am. It is not a comment on you or your peculiar taste, I just like the things I am comfortable with. Get over it.
7. I am a cheap date. One of my favorite things to do is to ride up the river and sit under the interstate and see how many truckers I can get to "honk me". No lie. I could sit there all day and every honk would still be just as exhilarating as the last.
8. I have a bird I have to spell in front of. I chit you not.
9. I have a chandelier in my kitchen (HA-in a houseboat the size of a large shoe, no less) that I have been actively hating for three years. If you are willing to come take it out, you can have it. I really can't finger out why it is still there, since the Innocent Bystander is so tall that he whacks his head on it at least once a day. I'd love to meet the fooktard who decided to put it there so I could kick him in the gonadial region.
10. I hoard certain things. You would think I grew up in the depression or something, the way I stockpile toilet paper and coffee and books-I have probably THIRTY books on my Kindle that I haven't even started-I can't take a chance of running out, don'tcha know?
Well, that is it for today. No vaginas, penises, or boobies to be found. I am off for a boat ride with the Innocent Bystander, then we are going our separate ways. He is going to spend the night (we are such responsible drinkers-heh) with an old friend and they are going to watch sports and eat beans and light each other's farts and drink until they puke. I am spending the night with my favorite Purv and we are going to eat steaks and play Wii games and prolly do something illegal. Use your imagination. Have a safe and happy Saturday.