In a comment earlier, someone asked if he knows I blog and suggested I tell him for our anniversary. He doesn't know. But he does know that I'm up to something. I have been doing an awful lot of inappropriate giggling to myself, as I see so much that strikes me as funny that I contemplate writing about, usually when he is talking to me. He's talking to me about politics and says "I'm officially undecided at this point. I'm waiting to see which one..." He kept on talking, but my eyes glazed over and I imagined telling him about my blog for his birthday since our anniversary is so far off. (Face it. I'm not that deep.)
Me: Happy Birthday, baby. Guess what I've been doing while you were gone?
Him: *looking around* Um...Collecting dust? Seeing how long you can go without cleaning the dryer vent? Fucking up the toilets? Eating bonbons?
Me: Asshole. No, I started a blog.
Him: *blank look*
Me: You prolly won't want to read it though. It's mostly about girl stuff.
Him: Why don't you want me to read it?
Me: I didn't say I didn't want you to read it. I said you probably wouldn't want to. Especially when you get to the parts where I talk about your penis and our sex life and such.
Him: Why would you talk about my penis and our sex life?
Me: *wicked evil grin* Because they are FUNNY.
Him: *dark look*
Me: But I've actually made money doing it. Heh. I said doing it.
Him: *perking up* Really? (I knew saying doing it would get his attention.)
Me: *proudly* Yep. Triple digits! *coughifyoucountthedecimalcough* I just wanted you to know, because now everything you do is now going to be blog fodder. In fact, I may just call you the Blogfodder.
Then I drifted into imagining us bumping uglies with him giving it to me nice and hard, telling me: BLOG. *thrust* ABOUT. *thrust* THIS. *thrust*
I started laughing out loud and he looked at me and I almost blushed, but then I remembered that it was all in my head and that he had no idea he had just been banging my brains out.
He'd probably prefer a blowjob.