About Me

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I love a lot. I wait a lot. I try to find a lot to laugh at. I don't usually have trouble with that. I pray a lot. I'm not always sure who or what I pray to, but I firmly believe that prayer makes a difference. I try not to panic very often. I try to learn something new every day. I spend a lot of time poking my nose into other peoples' bidness via their blogs. I clean up an awful lot of feathers. You can dress me up, but you can't really take me out. I travel a lot when I can find bird sitters and we take them with us when I can't. I drink, prolly to excess, but I rarely get sick because my body is a hostile environment to germs (or maybe no SELF RESPECTING germ would LIVE in my body?) I collect: gnomes, passport stamps, MONEY-preferably US dollars or Euros, red headed womyn and chicks named Stephanie. My Momma taught me many many years ago that girls don't fart, they foosie. She taught me lots of other chit too. Thanks for stopping by-leave me a comment and let me know you were here, feel free to link to me, or email me at jacquelynn.fortner@gmail.com

Thursday, October 16, 2008

SNAFU Part Deaux

We got a good start yesterday and had a pretty much uneventful trip.  One thing we did notice as soon as we passed Mobile heading north on I65 is that there are far fewer billboards on the north-south route than there are going east-west on I10.  We did not have reservations anywhere for last night as we weren't sure where we were going to stop, and I was really planning on relying on billboards to find a campground.  We finally found one at the Auburn exit.  It was very convenient to the interstate, and had adequate restroom/shower facilities which is all we really require.  What it did not have was wifi, so I had to rely on my IPhone to check my email.  I have hell typing on it, though, so I figured I'd spare ya'll a butchered post.

We got all set up and took turns going to shower.  When I left, all was well.  When I got back however, it was a different story.  

I know how glamorous *SNORT* this jetset lifestyle we lead may seem, but let me set you straight.  We decided several years ago that it did not make sense to wait until you were dying to live as though you were.  We don't want more stuff, we want the things we CAN take with us-memories.  We decided to do as much traveling and living as we can while our bodies are still capable of hiking up mountain trails and Dutch stairwells.  So while our neighbors think of us as "having all that money you got" we really don't-but we have very rich lives.  Yes, we travel a lot, and yes, we have a camper, but most of those trips overseas are one of the benefits of IB's job-lots of frequent flyer miles when you work places like Trinidad, Venezuela, the Bahamas and Nigeria.  And the camper is pretty and shiny on the outside, but we bought it used and got a really good deal on it.  We have had it for less than a year, but it has served us well.  Last night, though, we started having electrical problems.  Seems that the battery was being drained by our lights and the fridge, although those things are supposed to work on electricity.  We have had battery problems before-in fact, this one that we were FORKING with all freaking night was brand new.  Being the once bitten twice shy types that we are, we had even brought a spare (although NO OF COURSE WE DIDN'T BRING BATTERY TERMINALS TO FIT).  In any case, IB spent all night running out to check the battery, trying this, trying that and coming back in to quiz me on how much the lights dimmed THAT time.  By this point, my IPhone was practically dead from me googling campsites earlier and checking my mail incessantly all night.  So I asked him to plug it in to charge it.  Have I mentioned that this phone has had an MRI?  (It said everything was normal-heh.)  Well, he goes back there to plug it into the charger and somehow he managed to get a belt caught between the charger and the electrical socket.  The little METAL part of the belt that goes into the little holes?  You think shoot sparks?  You should have seen HIM fly across the camper like a mule had just kicked him in the twig and giggleberries.  

In any case, he was okay, and miraculously so was the phone, considering that it has now had an MRI and been electrocuted.  No major damage other than his pride as I pointed and laughed at his arse.  And of course the breaker that he blew.  

When he finally came inside for good, I had already gone to bed as I was tired of sitting in the dark by myself.  I was waiting for him too, as I figured this fell under the "if we pay for a bed, we are going to do our best to leave DNA in it" principle.  He acted all surprised, but he did not turn me down, and I actually did a little of the work for a change.  And may I just say that, DUDE.  You really nailed it in SO MANY ways-all of them good.  I'd give you a ten, but I had to shave off a few tenths of a point for the wobbly dismount.  Keep up the good work, and we can keep doing THAT for a LOOONG time to come, so to speak.  (And I'm sure the neighbors enjoyed the show too since we are too lazy to level this love shack on wheels-with a combined weight of about 400 lbs swinging from the a/c vents and banging against the aluminum window blinds I'm sure this baby was rockin' and ROLLIN'.)  The rest of the night was a disaster, though, since I had to climb Mt. Innocent Bystander every time I wanted to get up to pee.  *shakes head*

This morning, I was reading back through some comments (on the trusty IPhone) with suggestions for Six Flags and got to one mentioning the possibility of migraines associated with roller coasters, and I realized that I have forgotten both my migraine medicine AND my xanax.  No way in hell I can survive what will hopefully be two fun filled days (we may spend a day over at Stone Mountain as well as doing Six Flags) riding roller coasters without knowing I have one of momma's little helpers in my pocket in case of a panic attack.  Fortunately, I have some people in my life I would eat glass for, though, and one of them, my second wyfe, got her Doctor Wonderful soon to be husband to call me a few in, which we are going to go pick up as soon as the IB gets back from picking up the rental car.

He's being really good about giving me time to write, but tomorrow we deal with the embassy, so I may be posting late, if at all.  I'll fill you in on how that goes next time.



Pearl said...

Oh, I love it. Good for you for living NOW. No point in saving it!
I get panic attacks, too, so understand the need to have the medication on hand.
Sounds like you're having a great time.
p.s. Wobby dismount. *smiling snort*

darsden said...

YaMama shoots sparks too..

derfina said...

I know...It's sad...Yo' mama just begs me and begs me to make her shoot sparks.

Eric S. said...

You got me laughing till it hurts again.

If da camper is a rocking, don't come a knockin. LOL

derfina said...

We definitely gave a whole new meaning to shake rattle and roll!

derfina said...

pearl-just realized I missed you there-yeah, usually just HAVING it is enough, but I am going to be pushing some limits (HA!) here, so I don't want to take ANY chances. And we ARE having a great time because of/despite the bumps in the road. Keeps life interesting. *wink*

Dana said...

Off to a good start, giving the neighbors a show and all. Just so ya know, I thought you were going to say you didnt close the blinds or curtains or whatever LOL

derfina said...

dana-I think we know each other well enough that I can say "Ya mama thought I was gonna close the blinds last night, too".