About Me

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I love a lot. I wait a lot. I try to find a lot to laugh at. I don't usually have trouble with that. I pray a lot. I'm not always sure who or what I pray to, but I firmly believe that prayer makes a difference. I try not to panic very often. I try to learn something new every day. I spend a lot of time poking my nose into other peoples' bidness via their blogs. I clean up an awful lot of feathers. You can dress me up, but you can't really take me out. I travel a lot when I can find bird sitters and we take them with us when I can't. I drink, prolly to excess, but I rarely get sick because my body is a hostile environment to germs (or maybe no SELF RESPECTING germ would LIVE in my body?) I collect: gnomes, passport stamps, MONEY-preferably US dollars or Euros, red headed womyn and chicks named Stephanie. My Momma taught me many many years ago that girls don't fart, they foosie. She taught me lots of other chit too. Thanks for stopping by-leave me a comment and let me know you were here, feel free to link to me, or email me at jacquelynn.fortner@gmail.com

Friday, October 24, 2008

Funky Friday

It is a gloomy day and I've been in a funk, so I put off writing lest I say something I regret.  Suffice it to say, I am going to shake this off and not let someone steal my joy.  But I am going to keep this one short and sweet.  This is the difference between the Innocent Bystander and me.

We were sitting around the houseboat last night after dinner.  I'm sitting over here re-reading blogs that I'd found snot slinging hilarious the night before to see if they still were when I was sober.  He was sitting on the couch trying to put together a mix of songs for a neighborhood Halloween party that will be happening next week.

I reread one that was focused on dead baby jokes and started laughing out loud, thinking "yep, just as funny today" so I started reading one out loud to whatshisname.  He looked at me very seriously and said "I do NOT think that is funny."  I started to read him another one thinking maybe he just didn't get it and he glared at me and said "I TOLD you, I DON'T find that funny!"

I went back to reading to myself and he suddenly turned the sound up and said "Listen to this!" and he's laughing his ass off.  I turned to listen, and he is playing some of the NASTIEST sounding chit I've ever heard.  "Creepy Halloween Fart Music, Volume Three"  He sits there giggling and listening to several cuts and says "I like volume four better than volume seven".

I like dead baby jokes.  I'm twisted like that.  I always liked Helen Keller jokes too, so shoot me.  But a symphony of very moist sounding textured farts set to music?  *shakes head*  Not my bag.


Pearl said...

I used to have a friend that thought farts were the funniest things in the world. He would record them, slow them down, speed them up, howling with laughter... I never got it
Dead-baby jokes were never my thing, but Helen Keller? I have to admit I've laughed.

derfina said...

Now THAT is creative. I just cringe when he starts giggling at the aural hershey squirts and wants to search for MORE.

Captain Steve said...

Dead baby jokes are hilarious. I cringe at most fart jokes. Mostly I just think they're stupid. Don't know why.

Island Travel Girl said...

My son would think that BOTH of those delightful options were HIGHlarious.

Oh, if he only knew what went on in your house, he would show up at your door and beg to live with you forever.....hm.

derfina said...

Cap-I agree. Fart jokes are sophomoric. *snort* I'm too fucking SOPHISTICATED for fart jokes.

ITG-Yeah, never a dull moment around here. Send him on over. There's always room at this zoo.