About Me

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I love a lot. I wait a lot. I try to find a lot to laugh at. I don't usually have trouble with that. I pray a lot. I'm not always sure who or what I pray to, but I firmly believe that prayer makes a difference. I try not to panic very often. I try to learn something new every day. I spend a lot of time poking my nose into other peoples' bidness via their blogs. I clean up an awful lot of feathers. You can dress me up, but you can't really take me out. I travel a lot when I can find bird sitters and we take them with us when I can't. I drink, prolly to excess, but I rarely get sick because my body is a hostile environment to germs (or maybe no SELF RESPECTING germ would LIVE in my body?) I collect: gnomes, passport stamps, MONEY-preferably US dollars or Euros, red headed womyn and chicks named Stephanie. My Momma taught me many many years ago that girls don't fart, they foosie. She taught me lots of other chit too. Thanks for stopping by-leave me a comment and let me know you were here, feel free to link to me, or email me at jacquelynn.fortner@gmail.com

Thursday, October 30, 2008

The Pits

I can take the wrinkles.  I can take the boobies that I could tie behind my ears.  I can take the Davis jowls that are beginning to show.  I can take the hot flashes and the mood swings and the fooking boar hairs that I have to dig out from between my chins on a weekly basis.  I can take the snow white poobic hairs that sparkle amongst the once all dark curly ones.  These are all proof that I've lived in this body.

But can someone please tell me WHY THE FORK I have to, at the ripe old age of almost 47, walk around with Mount Vesuvius erupting from my forehead?  It wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't compelled to poke it and mash it and pinch it and squeeze it until I look like I have some sort of weird gnarly bloody GRAPE stuck above my left eye.  ^shrug^  Maybe I can incorporate it into a Halloween costume.  My new embryonic siamese twin or something.  Any suggestions?


Pearl said...

I like the two-headed aspect of it...

Or you could give it eyelashes? Go all Cyclops on it?


p.s. We are the same age. :-)

Di said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Di said...


try the face it dryer- works like a CHARM in 2-3 days (max) time.

There is NO reason why your twin should be growing out of your head. I used to have that problem about once every 2 months or so. One "twin" would come out for about 2 weeks (no joke). Sucks, no makeup on this earth can could it up and talk about swelling. UGH !

derfina said...

I was thinking about making it a tiny little sombrero and introducing it as "my leetle friend"

Billychic said...

Yep. You just gave me an idea for Halloween...I can go as myself and scare the hell out of everybody.

Eric S. said...

LOL, You are simply too funny. Give it the sombrero, and go for broke.

Thanks for your comments and well wishes.

derfina said...

OH OH OH! I know! I can dress it as a pinata and let EVERYONE take a whack at it!!!