About Me

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I love a lot. I wait a lot. I try to find a lot to laugh at. I don't usually have trouble with that. I pray a lot. I'm not always sure who or what I pray to, but I firmly believe that prayer makes a difference. I try not to panic very often. I try to learn something new every day. I spend a lot of time poking my nose into other peoples' bidness via their blogs. I clean up an awful lot of feathers. You can dress me up, but you can't really take me out. I travel a lot when I can find bird sitters and we take them with us when I can't. I drink, prolly to excess, but I rarely get sick because my body is a hostile environment to germs (or maybe no SELF RESPECTING germ would LIVE in my body?) I collect: gnomes, passport stamps, MONEY-preferably US dollars or Euros, red headed womyn and chicks named Stephanie. My Momma taught me many many years ago that girls don't fart, they foosie. She taught me lots of other chit too. Thanks for stopping by-leave me a comment and let me know you were here, feel free to link to me, or email me at jacquelynn.fortner@gmail.com

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Bits and pieces

Let me start out today by apologizing for yesterday's lame post.  From now on, if I'm not feeling it, I will take a fooking day off instead of forcing it.  Life is too short to drink warm beer or to fake it. (Blogging, anyway...sometimes in bed life is too short NOT to fake it, yaknowwhatahmsayin'?)

We had fun yesterday.  I did make both a homemade chicken pot pie and an apple pie.  The pot pie was very good.  The apple pie tasted okay, but I baked it a wee bit too long so it was more like a thick applesauce pie.  At least I TRIED to fulfill his food fantasy.

When I went to the house to shower yesterday, there was a new recycling bin in the yard with instructions as to what they want recycled and the pickup schedule.  I looked over the list.  Magazines and newspapers.  Check.  Plastic bottles and milk jugs.  Check.  Brown, green and clear glass.  Chec...Hey!  Wait just a forking minute!  BROWN GLASS???  As in BEER BOTTLES?  Oh, and get this.  You're supposed to RINSE them out before you recycle them.  Let me get this straight.  They want me to not only place the evidence of my drunken debauchery in an open container for all my neighbors to count AND you want me to fooking WASH THEM OUT first?  Is not the clinking and clashing of the garbage can as the bags full of bottles shatter against each other not punishment and humiliation enough???

El Juevo called me yesterday and told me to go to the Sun Herald's website.  Their headline story was about one of the reporters from our local television station (who the Innocent Bystander thinks is a hottie) being arrested for cocaine possession.  I was telling the IB about it and about how I figured we could now look forward to a series chronicling her upcoming stint in rehab.  He thought about it for a minute and he said "We could put up a jar for her at the Shingle Mill and then I can go put money on her canteen card!"  *rolls eyes*

We did go up to the Mill yesterday evening to roll the dice.  The roll-a-day is up to $700 and then some.  My ads don't get clicked much so the money is not rolling in HERE, so a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do to make a buck.  And the IB pays for me rolling, so what have I got to lose?  We didn't win, but there is always today.  There.  Maybe by writing it I'll make it happen like that time I made the grass cut itself.  Heh.  Anyway, we sat there for awhile until the talk turned political.  At a certain point in political conversations around HERE, someone always has to start throwing around the "n" word, which always pisses me off, at which point I lean over and tell the IB that I'm ready to leave.  As we are walking back up the dirt road that leads to the houseboat, he looks at me and tenderly says "We ought to adopt us a little black kid.  Then nobody up there will feel comfortable saying that."  He's really a thoughtful guy, isn't he?

When we got back here, he went out and lit all the candles and tiki torches (yes, we are cliche rednecks) and I made a fire in the little fire pit that the Purv gave me a couple of weeks ago.  (MANY THANKS!!! It works great!)  He got very creative yesterday in the spirit of recycling, so he hung that hideous chandelier out in a tree and we put candles in the bulb sockets and it turned out to look...not so bad!

Today, he's been busy taking down a ceiling fan and installing a new light fixture-and no electrocuting himself this time.  He's getting the remote control boats ready to play with and I am busy cooking three, count'em three, pork roasts, blackeyed peas, rice and corn, and Clay is making some cornbread.  I don't know if anyone else is making anything or not, but it is going to be a community meal night around here, so iffin ya'll are hungry, come on down.  We got plenty!  

Have a safe and pleasant Sunday!


Captain Steve said...

I love the idea of the chandelier in a tree.

derfina said...

*nods* It does go with the whole ghetto theme we have going for the Hoot n' Holler we are going to have out here for Halloween.