About Me

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I love a lot. I wait a lot. I try to find a lot to laugh at. I don't usually have trouble with that. I pray a lot. I'm not always sure who or what I pray to, but I firmly believe that prayer makes a difference. I try not to panic very often. I try to learn something new every day. I spend a lot of time poking my nose into other peoples' bidness via their blogs. I clean up an awful lot of feathers. You can dress me up, but you can't really take me out. I travel a lot when I can find bird sitters and we take them with us when I can't. I drink, prolly to excess, but I rarely get sick because my body is a hostile environment to germs (or maybe no SELF RESPECTING germ would LIVE in my body?) I collect: gnomes, passport stamps, MONEY-preferably US dollars or Euros, red headed womyn and chicks named Stephanie. My Momma taught me many many years ago that girls don't fart, they foosie. She taught me lots of other chit too. Thanks for stopping by-leave me a comment and let me know you were here, feel free to link to me, or email me at jacquelynn.fortner@gmail.com

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Drama Free Post

As soon as I hit publish yesterday, a houseboat came around the bend in the river, but it kept on going. So far, no new neighbor. From what I understand, there is a houseboat that will have to be moved in order for the eighty footer to fit next to us, and the owner of that boat has been hard to locate.  If I was guessing, I would say they are HIDING, because I am sure they don't want to have to go through the process of moving, especially to move all of three or four hundred feet.  Just moving standoffs is a major pain in the ass, not to mention having to deal with the power company and the mechanics of the actual move itself.  In any case, there was no drama.

There was however, a wonderful surprise when I went to the house later to check the mail. When I pulled into the driveway, FIVE cats came running to greet me instead of the usual four. Back in September when we had a rash of floods from tropical systems, I had been flooded in here at the houseboat for a few days and my neighbor had been feeding the feral/stray cats that I have been supporting since we bought the house.  When I was finally able to get back to the house, Big Gray had gone missing, and he hadn't been seen since.  He has lost some weight and looks a little worse for the wear, but he is alive!  I feel vindicated, because I know El Juevo thought I was full of shit when I told him the cat was missing.  Our neighbor's cat had been hit by a car, and I know he thought Big Gray had been killed too, and that I was keeping it from him to keep him from grieving.  When I told him the cat was back, he looked at me like I'd told him little green men were at the door.  He jumped up and ran out onto the porch and I swear his knees buckled when he saw him.  Lazarus has risen, ya'll!

When I got back to the houseboat, I decided that I was going to follow up on my earlier urge (not THAT one) (but now that I'm thinking about it, if I DID fulfill that urge I'd prolly be able to write more clearly) (but you coulda prolly gone all day without knowing that, eh?) and take the boat up the river to commune with Mother Nature.  Which I did...  

...if by Mother Nature, you mean truckers.  I went up the river and sat under the interstate overpass and collected honks.  I am so easily entertained.  Did you know that eastbound truckers are 75% more likely to honk you than westbound truckers are?  Doesn't matter how I park the boat, for some reason, eastbound truckers are MUCH more generous with the honks. Just sayin'.

Today's lagniappe is just a short (unretouched) note from the Innocent Bystander that I had in my inbox when I got back from my boatride:

I have 4  MO-PO 's        mobile police   that are on here at Night guarding the me and the boat now that we are back at the dock.
i asked em' if they would be here Christmas night , and they said
  "YES We will Drink till dark."
          And then come here
          With Machine Guns


darsden said...

Happy to hear the kitty returneth!

OMG! Capt'J... glad he won't be there for New Years!!!

Braja said...

Ahhh...kitties comin' home and armed

PlungerGirl said...

I love that kitty story. Gives me hope.

Did you sit under the interstate nekid for the truckers?

derfina said...

Dar-Me too! The 28th can't get here fast enough.


PlungerGirl-Freaked me out how nonchalantly he strolled up, like nothing was up. Asscat. And, no, I don't even flash them titties-I do it (heh) for me, not for them!

NurseExec said...

Capt. J. has SUCH an interesting job, LOL! He should have a blog.

Braja said...

Did you see that??? Freakin' internet cut out half way thru writin' my comment! I meant to say this:

Ahhh...kitties comin' home and armed men...you're warmin' my blood, girl :)

Eric S. said...

Umm, booze and guns, sounds like Texas. Glad the cat hath been resurrected.

derfina said...

NurseExec-It's tough enough trying to get him to sit still long enough to read mine!

Braja-That makes SO much more sense! I thought I was missing something!

Eric-Actually, booze and guns aren't that novel around here, either! And yes, the prodigal cat is happily licking buttermilk off his whiskers.

*smooches* to all!