About Me

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I love a lot. I wait a lot. I try to find a lot to laugh at. I don't usually have trouble with that. I pray a lot. I'm not always sure who or what I pray to, but I firmly believe that prayer makes a difference. I try not to panic very often. I try to learn something new every day. I spend a lot of time poking my nose into other peoples' bidness via their blogs. I clean up an awful lot of feathers. You can dress me up, but you can't really take me out. I travel a lot when I can find bird sitters and we take them with us when I can't. I drink, prolly to excess, but I rarely get sick because my body is a hostile environment to germs (or maybe no SELF RESPECTING germ would LIVE in my body?) I collect: gnomes, passport stamps, MONEY-preferably US dollars or Euros, red headed womyn and chicks named Stephanie. My Momma taught me many many years ago that girls don't fart, they foosie. She taught me lots of other chit too. Thanks for stopping by-leave me a comment and let me know you were here, feel free to link to me, or email me at jacquelynn.fortner@gmail.com

Saturday, December 6, 2008


I was IMing with the Innocent Bystander yesterday because the phone connection sucked. (Vonage, by the way? *shakes head* Don't even THINK about it.)  I was catching him up on what I've been doing lately and what Dar and I have planned for today.  It was his turn to type something, so I waited, watching the little dialogue box.  And waited.  Finally, I saw that he was typing something.  It read "It must be nice to be you."


I felt like a chump.  There he sits in the middle of his river, halfway around the world, the lone grain of salt in a peppermill of a country that is slowly grinding on his last nerve, whilst I flit from mall to restaurant to casino to bar and then rinse and repeat.  All on his dime.  

I could have lost a lot of sleep over this, but he knows that I don't take one minute of this for granted.  And I am a liver

not an exister.  He also knows that when he gets home, the focus will all be on him (and right now, I would give my left nut to be able to do some FOCUSING on him.)  

So I am off to live, folks.  I'm taking Dar to Mobile to see if the malls over there have anything new and different or if the same girls with indeterminate accents will rush us asking "Ma'am? Can I ask you a question?" as they try to grab our hands to buff a fingernail.  I also want to do a little research on Santy Claus-see if he's cheaper in the Big City-memories are supposed to be priceless, right?  Once I have satisfied my shopping jones, we are going to Mobile Greyhound Park to pop her dogtrack cherry, and then we will top it all off with a hockey game.  

It is nice to be me.

Lagniappe:  Click here.


Braja said...

I love you Derfina. It's blog love, but surely that counts for something???

"pop her dogtrack cherry" combined with that photo...too much.

Dana said...

LOL You crack me up. It's not normal how much I sit and laugh at your words on this here screen!

Poptart said...

Don't get me started about Vonage! UGH!!

So, what was your response to IB? I'm thinking something along the line,'Hell yeah, it ROCKS to be me!' hehehe

Surely there's a cheaper Santa somewhere near. We have an annual 'town square christmas' and pics with Santa are free. You bring your own camera and someone takes the pic for you.

derfina said...

Braja-Right back atcha, myne dear.

Dana-I do my best to never be 'normal'. *wink*

Poptart-*nods* I did. I know that he knows that I know that I'm spoiled. He considers it marriage security-no one else around here can afford me.