About Me

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I love a lot. I wait a lot. I try to find a lot to laugh at. I don't usually have trouble with that. I pray a lot. I'm not always sure who or what I pray to, but I firmly believe that prayer makes a difference. I try not to panic very often. I try to learn something new every day. I spend a lot of time poking my nose into other peoples' bidness via their blogs. I clean up an awful lot of feathers. You can dress me up, but you can't really take me out. I travel a lot when I can find bird sitters and we take them with us when I can't. I drink, prolly to excess, but I rarely get sick because my body is a hostile environment to germs (or maybe no SELF RESPECTING germ would LIVE in my body?) I collect: gnomes, passport stamps, MONEY-preferably US dollars or Euros, red headed womyn and chicks named Stephanie. My Momma taught me many many years ago that girls don't fart, they foosie. She taught me lots of other chit too. Thanks for stopping by-leave me a comment and let me know you were here, feel free to link to me, or email me at jacquelynn.fortner@gmail.com

Friday, December 12, 2008

I can't think, therefore I bleme

I am having a crisis this morning.  I only have enough Coffeemate (Italian Sweet Cream flavor, thank you very much) for ONE cup of coffee this morning.  PLUS, I have to take El Juevo to school this morning, and guess what?  The little turd won't answer his farking phone, so he's probably still asleep, which means he is going to be late, because you know what?  He's TWENTY ONE YEARS OLD and I shouldn't have to get him out of bed like a six year old, dammit.  I will go over there when it's time to leave and if he's not ready, he can damn well go to school with eye boogers for all I care.

Fortunately, so you don't bear the brunt of my disgruntledness, myne Serious Bitch sent me one of those getting to know you emails yesterday that I am going to use to prevent myself from turning this into a kid rant.  I mean, it's not like I'm a mommy blogger. *laughs hysterically*  I'm sorry.  I don't know why I find that funny, but I do.

So, without further ado, here are 41 "odd" things about me:

1. Do you like blue cheese? Eh, I can take it or leave it.

2. Have you ever smoked? I haven't really checked, but I thought I was flaming once or twice!

3. Do you own a gun? Smith and Wesson .38 Special hammerless titanium pistol.  Uh.  Yes?

4. What flavor Kool Aid was your favorite? I love all things cherry.  Heh.

5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? Depends on what I'm there for.

6. What do you think of hot dogs?  I love the shape of them.

7. Favorite Christmas movie? The Santa Clause

 8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Starbucks Extra Bold French Roast Coffee

9. Can you do push-ups? Depends on if the Innocent Bystander is under me or not.

10. What's your favorite piece of jewelry? I'm weird about jewelry.  I only REALLY like things I don't ever have to take off, like my grandmother's wedding band that I wear on chain around my neck (close to my heart) and my own wedding band.

 11. Favorite hobby? Reading

12. Do you have A.D.D.?  I like cheese.  I am going shopping today.  The geese are screaming to be fed.  Huh?

13. What's one trait you hate about yourself ?  I am a procrastinator.

14. Middle name?  By birth, Marva, but I changed it to my maiden name, Davis, when I married the IB.

15. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment? I'd better hurry.  Thank God Alex called and he's up. Dammit, I need to stop for gas.

 16. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink. Coffee, water, Busch Light in a bottle.

 17. Current worry? What?  Me worry?  What would that accomplish?

18. Currently hate right now?  I don't hate.  Sometimes I dislike things intensely, but hate is too strong an emotion for me.

19. Favorite place to be? In the here and now.

20. How did you (or are you) bringing in the New Year?  *wicked evil grin*  With the Innocent Bystander!!!  Thankee kindly, Santy Claus!

21. Where would you like to go? Anywhere and everywhere, but my dream trip is to Israel

22. Do you own slippers? Yes.

23. What shirt are you wearing? Shirts.  White v-neck tunic t under a red sweater

24. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? Negatory

25. Can you whistle? Yep. I can even curl my tongue ^^groucho eyebrows^^ and whistle through it.  Only thing is, I can't whistle at home or the birds go INSANE.

26. Favorite color? Cobalt blue

27. Red or white wine? Amber-beer.  Unfortunately, I have an exposed root and wine makes it hurt for days.

28. What songs do you sing in the shower? I don't.  Don't want to get fartwater in my mouth.

29. Favorite Girl's name? Dixie Lynn

30. Favorite Boy's name?  Johnny *bats eyelashes coquettishly*

31. What's in your pocket right now? A clean handkerchief

32. Last thing that made you laugh? *blushing* me

33. Worst injury you ever had?  Rotator cuff surgery

34. Do you love where you live? ABSOLUTELY

35. How many TVs do you have in your house? Two

36. Who is your loudest friend? Again, ME

37. Do you have any pets? 3 parrots, currently 4 stray cats, 13 ducks and 2 geese.

38. Does someone have a crush on you?  ^^shrug^^

39. Your favorite book(s): The Great Santini by Pat Conroy

40. Favorite Sports Team? Mississippi Seawolves (ECHL hockey) and New Orleans Saints

41. What song do you want played at your funeral?  I'm not sure, but the most beautiful song I ever heard at a funeral was sung by an old black woman at my wyfe's sister's funeral and it was called "Workin' on a Building".  I've searched YouTube but can't find a suitable rendition to link, because they've hillbillied it up too much on most of them.  Kentucky Bluegrass makes a mockery of a beautiful song.

Gotta run!  *smooches*



La Belette Rouge said...

41 is better than 4!;-) I was just thinking yesterday that I want Pachabel's Cannon played at my funeral. Must remember to tell my Woozle. Thanks for reminding me.
Oh, and I love your answer to #12!!;-)

Braja said...

I wanna Glock 9.

And regarding No.38: Yes. To prove it check my sidebar...hint...gold...mmmmm....

Rassles said...

"Last thing that made you laugh?...Me."

Ha. Me too. But about you.

NurseExec said...

I loves me some hockey...and I had no idea Mississippi had a team. Weird. I think I did this meme at one time or another...

One Hypo said...

HeHe! I love the cartoon at the end.

derfina said...

La Belette Rouge-#12 what?

Braja-Me luv you long time, mistah!

Rassles-I know. I'm funny lookin'.

NurseExec-Yes, we've had one for twelve years, although we were out of commission for two after Katrina whilst the coliseum was repaired.

One Hypo-Thanks, and welcome! Hope to see you back soon!

*smooches* to all!

Vodka Mom said...

you're damn cool. (I have a 357 Mag. I'm just sayin')