About Me

My photo
I love a lot. I wait a lot. I try to find a lot to laugh at. I don't usually have trouble with that. I pray a lot. I'm not always sure who or what I pray to, but I firmly believe that prayer makes a difference. I try not to panic very often. I try to learn something new every day. I spend a lot of time poking my nose into other peoples' bidness via their blogs. I clean up an awful lot of feathers. You can dress me up, but you can't really take me out. I travel a lot when I can find bird sitters and we take them with us when I can't. I drink, prolly to excess, but I rarely get sick because my body is a hostile environment to germs (or maybe no SELF RESPECTING germ would LIVE in my body?) I collect: gnomes, passport stamps, MONEY-preferably US dollars or Euros, red headed womyn and chicks named Stephanie. My Momma taught me many many years ago that girls don't fart, they foosie. She taught me lots of other chit too. Thanks for stopping by-leave me a comment and let me know you were here, feel free to link to me, or email me at jacquelynn.fortner@gmail.com

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Like a whirlpool, it never ends


Could that be my post today?  Just "Oy"?  

Dar and I have been running around like two chickens with our heads cut off for the last week or so.  I will spare you that graphic since I've already had to look at one headless chicken this year, but believe me when I say I am making myself dizzy.

We made our trip to Mobile on Saturday.  We started out at the flea market, but it was so cold under the pavilions that we more jogged than walked through.  I did manage to scarf down one ear of roasted corn and made a cool find of a present for El Juevo, but for the most part, we got exercise and nothing else.

Then it was off to the dogtrack, where we had a fantastic lunch and I educated her on the finer points of placing losing bets.  We stayed for the first half of the matinee (8 races) and neither one of us even came close to winning anything.  This despite the fact that my first bet was a quinella on two dogs named Get a Real Job and Lost in Cyberspace.  I would have thought THAT bet would have been a sure thing!  We left there and made a quickie trip to Fresh Market to get another creme brulee place an order for a gift for my mom.  While we were there, Dar saw some cute little tabletop trees she thought would be everso groovy on my deck, but I told her until the forking lights were up on the houseboat there would be no talk of tree.

I told her (note I said told) that we were going back to Mobile on Sunday because we never did make it to the malls over there, and she got a shit eating grin on her face and said "Not until those FORKING lights are up, we're not, MISSY!"  I guess she told ME!  Being the kinda gurrrl who knows how to pick her battles, I groused a little and then conceded.  She insisted there would be NO ECONOMIC STIMULATION WHATSOEVER until those lights were up, so we agreed that she would come over Sunday morning and we would put them up and THEN we would proceed on with our patriotic duty.  

I am so bad.  She called me Sunday morning to see what time she should head over, and as I was busy working on this post, I told her to be here around noon.  When she got here, I said "Gee, I'd love to put the lights up, but we need to eat something first.  I wouldn't want to get faint and fall in the river while I'm hanging lights.  Let's go get lunch at L.Y.  You've never been, and it's been a while since I've been. Pleeeeaase?"  She narrowed her eyes and stared at me for a minute, then said "What the hell?  If it will get your ass moving!"  We headed toward my own personal Mecca, and as we pulled into the parking lot, I noticed the Dollar Store behind it.  I slid my eyes over at her and said very softly "Oh, look!  A Dollar Store!  I've never been in there!"  She looked over and said "Neither have I."  I said "Wanna go after we eat?" not looking at her.  She didn't even think about it.  "Sure," she said. *smirk*  She is so easy.  No commerce my ass.

After we ate and made our little purchases, we came back to the houseboat.  Naturally, I was feeling victorious as I'd gotten one past her, so I obligingly got out the lights and the ladder and we proceeded to scare the living shit out of my neighbors by doing a little ballet on the lattice fencework that runs around the outside of my screened in porch.  Both Dar and I are a wee bit on the vertically challenged side and I daresay that whilst either one of us would prolly wobble but not fall down on dry land, a four inch balance beam with a twenty too foot deep river that is running at 67 degrees as our net is an accident waiting to happen at best.  At some point, the show must have become too dramatic even for this crowd, because Clay finally came over and gave me the old "Miss Jackie, will you PLEASE get down from there before you end up in the river and I gotta jump in after you?"  Chit.  Took him long enough.  *snort*

Anyway, he strung the top string across the porch, then he got my little boat and hung my icicles on the fencework for me, then Dar and I went the rest of the way around the boat with them.  When we had finished and verified that everything was working, she said "Get in the car."  I asked, "Where are we going?" and she replied, "Back to Mobile to Fresh Market to get that tree!"  I tried to talk her into me just getting my little artificial tree out but she was having none of it.  I even took her to Lowes (the ONLY place in town here that has live/formerly live trees) and we looked at their tabletop trees, but she was having none of it, so off we went.  She We picked out a tree and stopped at Walgreens for a string of lights and some wee balls (heh.  I know) to hang on it (nice image, eh?) and headed back here.  I started decorating it while we made plans for Monday night to meet with her parents for dinner, then head to...Go on.  Guess.  I dare you.

Yep.  Mobile.  We made a date to go to Bellingrath Gardens for their Magic Christmas in Lights display.  We had a very nice dinner then walked it all of strolling through acres and acres of beautiful light displays, an historic home, and lovely greenhouses and gardens.  It was a visual and scentual delight, and the company was not half bad, either!

Today, the plan is for her to meet me around lunchtime.  We are going to batten down the hatches, i.e. secure the lights more soundly as we are expecting treacherous weather this evening, then we are FINALLY going to hit the malls in Mobile.  If weather permits, I am hoping she will be here around dark thirty so I can try to get some decent pics of the houseboat from the boat and/or the bar (I won't try to take the big boat out unless I have a chaperone-call me Chicken Little).  Tomorrow I have to take El Juevo to school and run errands until around noon, then I am hoping we can all go over to the Aquarium of the Americas in New Orleans, which we tried to do when we were there last week (how dare they be closed on Mondays!). Who knows what the REST of the week will bring?



darsden said...

Great evening...where's my other boob? It's missing in the picture..LOL I AM NOT going to Mobile 2day...I am NOT..no I'm not...you can't make me!!!

derfina said...


Dana said...

LOL You two are hilarious! Seriously! Makes me miss people at/near/almost my age!

SgtSudsWife said...

I am pretty sure you 2 need to have a blog together where you can go back and forth arguing and joking around with each other. That would be great.

Sounds like ya had fun shopping and tricking her into shopping some more before the lights were up. So glad you didn't fall in the river. Although that would have made for some good reading as longa as you were ok afterward.

Pearl said...

I love your friendship. :-)

derfina said...

Dana-I wish I could say we try, but it just works out that way.

SgtSudsWife-Might have to think about that one-She Said/She said! I could tell my side of the story, she could rebut, then I could correct her!

Pearl-I do too! *wink*

*smooches* to all!

darsden said...

chit...chit..Cha..IT...I went to Mobile..girl just don't understand NO! Plus, she hooked my collar wize I wasn't looking..you know the tab you hang you shirt up by...hard to hacksaw it when ya can't reach it...Then just when I thought I had it..the girl hit the child lock on me...OMG!! I been kidnapped help...411 .. Got her back though...I went shoe shopping and made her stand in the corner..oh YES I did...dang if I didn't look and she's looking in a mirror at them...girl just can't win...dangit...I"ll get you and ya mama too!!!

derfina said...

Sorry, dude, but you just gotta realize we gotta git whilst the gettin' is good. Ya never know when the Innocent Bystander will get to come home and we have to switch gears all of a sudden. Did I tell ya YO mama just called to THANK ME? *leers*

La Belette Rouge said...

Wee balls...fire kitty..two dogs named Get a Real Job and Lost in Cyberspace: These are a few of my favorite things!!!:-)

Braja said...


derfina said...

La Belette Rouge-Myne too. I can't believe dogs with THOSE names would let me down!

Braja-I'm the one holding the redhead's left boob in my armpit for safekeeping (She was the first in my collection. The red has faded a wee bit, but myne love for her never will!)