About Me

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I love a lot. I wait a lot. I try to find a lot to laugh at. I don't usually have trouble with that. I pray a lot. I'm not always sure who or what I pray to, but I firmly believe that prayer makes a difference. I try not to panic very often. I try to learn something new every day. I spend a lot of time poking my nose into other peoples' bidness via their blogs. I clean up an awful lot of feathers. You can dress me up, but you can't really take me out. I travel a lot when I can find bird sitters and we take them with us when I can't. I drink, prolly to excess, but I rarely get sick because my body is a hostile environment to germs (or maybe no SELF RESPECTING germ would LIVE in my body?) I collect: gnomes, passport stamps, MONEY-preferably US dollars or Euros, red headed womyn and chicks named Stephanie. My Momma taught me many many years ago that girls don't fart, they foosie. She taught me lots of other chit too. Thanks for stopping by-leave me a comment and let me know you were here, feel free to link to me, or email me at jacquelynn.fortner@gmail.com

Thursday, February 19, 2009

The Power of Suck

Pardon me whilst I scream bloody murder. 

Whilst I've been sitting around having this wonderful glamourous life for the last couple of days, I've been focusing on a few things that chap my ass, and I thought that I would share them with you, thereby participating in my friend Christine's theme for the month over at Strange Pilgram, "Suck It."

First off, two phrases that I have heard quite enough of lately: "It's the economy." and "In these tough economic times."  OKAY.  WE GET IT.  Things are tough all over.  I don't need it rammed down my throat every time I turn on the radio or television.  How about focusing on the farking positive instead of the negative, folks?  These are opportunities to help each other out, to see how we can make things last, to see what we really don't need.  Less is MORE, dammit.  Try on my rosy fucking glasses, wouldja?

Next, two things that suck the damn life out of me: turds and feathers.  I spent the vast majority of yesterday chasing turds around from various lifeforms around here that I feed.  In return, the little bastards ALL reward me with turdage.  I have bird turdage, which is at least self contained.  Then I have goose and duck shit all over my gangway that I have to *titters* GOOSE STEP through to get to the hose so I can wash it off before it gets drug into the houseboat.  Now to add to the fun, this little kitteh?  Decided that it did not like the (all natural corncob) litter that I bought whilst I was still fool enough to keep her in the screened in porch, so she eschewed the litterbox in favor of select corners of the porch to deposit her little favors in.  Lucky me.  When I was all done, and the floors had all been mopped and I finally plopped down in my glider to boot up the computer, my eyes drifted under the futon where they saw...FEATHERS.  I just get done with round one, and round two starts.  *rolls eyes*  May I just say with the distaste that I feel, "MUTHERFUCKER"?

My final suck it gripe o'the day is more a concept than a tangible thing.  Buyer's remorse. Especially when the object of the remorse is VERY NICE and you know it will last FOREVER. Because every day, for the REST OF YOUR FUCKING LIFE, every time you look at it, it will mock you.  You can look forward to your eyes falling on it every day, several times a day, and thinking of all the other things you could have done with that money.  You will come to hate it over time, as it represents a lifetime of hemorrhaging money for things you really didn't need, but because it was so very dear, you must maintain the charade of love it love it love it.  

Yes, these things suck, but I guess in the grand scheme of things, they are lessons learned.  The economy sucks.  Into each life a little smelly stuff must fall, but it will be tempered with the soft things that drift down into each of our lives without us seeing them until they are already THERE.  And our mistakes are with us always, but hopefully we learn from them in the long run and don't let them ruin us.  

Shit runs deep in the river, ya'll.


Mama Dawg said...

I think shit runs deep everywhere. And always downhill.

Di said...

they make kitten attract litter that teaches kitties to use the litter box, without a mamma they don't know until you show them.

is it buyers remorse about the new dooney purse? I LOVE it and would gladly take it as a donation to the "Di For Fashion" fund if it would easy your mind ;o)

NurseExec said...

I'll take the purse, if it's a burden. Hehe.

darsden said...

My goodness I didn't know you were having a chitty day my friend.

Enjoy it, life is short. Go get some new duds to go with..it will be okay!

I know all too well about the feathers, that's why I ate my bird. He doesn't scream anymore either. Lil bbq sauce it was fine!

Braja said...

Better than scary toilets...

Braja said...

Y'ok now Derfina? :)

Mariah said...

Shit runs all over my life these days

Island Travel Girl said...

Hey there - power of suk highlighted today.

Thinking of you, hope you had a good polishing today hehehe.