About Me

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I love a lot. I wait a lot. I try to find a lot to laugh at. I don't usually have trouble with that. I pray a lot. I'm not always sure who or what I pray to, but I firmly believe that prayer makes a difference. I try not to panic very often. I try to learn something new every day. I spend a lot of time poking my nose into other peoples' bidness via their blogs. I clean up an awful lot of feathers. You can dress me up, but you can't really take me out. I travel a lot when I can find bird sitters and we take them with us when I can't. I drink, prolly to excess, but I rarely get sick because my body is a hostile environment to germs (or maybe no SELF RESPECTING germ would LIVE in my body?) I collect: gnomes, passport stamps, MONEY-preferably US dollars or Euros, red headed womyn and chicks named Stephanie. My Momma taught me many many years ago that girls don't fart, they foosie. She taught me lots of other chit too. Thanks for stopping by-leave me a comment and let me know you were here, feel free to link to me, or email me at jacquelynn.fortner@gmail.com

Saturday, February 14, 2009

My Funny Valentine

He knows me too well.  For Valentines Day, I got the first set of pics of Igor in Nigeria.

I also received this little gem from him this week (unedited):

the cleaning guy came to me and asked me to talk to the 2 mo po's    they are muslem  and they keep standing on the toilet seat to shit and are making a mess
why the fuck would somebody do that?
how do you go tell somebody they have to sit ,, not stand on the seat
i sent the mate to do it
not a problem i faced before

I asked him about it later, and he said that the mate told him the mobile police in question were from the north and had never seen a toilet.  In their part of the country, he explained, they dig a hole and squat over it to take a crap.  He told the IB that the men had thanked him and told him that they had not understood how it worked and that they would TRY it his way.  I told the IB that would be great until they went home and wanted to sit on their holes in the dirt.  Then it wouldn't make so much sense.



darsden said...

How cute is Igor Love it! Maybe he could hang a picture diagram in there for the nubie's LOL. Can't believe I have to get all dressed up for you tongiht dammi,
Thought I only had to do that for Ya Mama!!!

Braja said...

I followed all of that.

Wait. I'm lying.

Hell it's 5.30am. Speak slowly.

Koolio said...

They've never seen a toilet. I can't even imagine spending my life squatting over a hole...although I had to do it in a public restaurant in a small town in ITALY.

When I was 16, I went to Egypt. When we arrived in the airport, we had to use the restroom. Women were squatting in the corners doing their business. I decided to hold it.

Braja said...

It's because they have never heard of the concept of sitting on a filthy place where others have sat to shit.

Which when you think about it, makes a lotta sense...