About Me

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I love a lot. I wait a lot. I try to find a lot to laugh at. I don't usually have trouble with that. I pray a lot. I'm not always sure who or what I pray to, but I firmly believe that prayer makes a difference. I try not to panic very often. I try to learn something new every day. I spend a lot of time poking my nose into other peoples' bidness via their blogs. I clean up an awful lot of feathers. You can dress me up, but you can't really take me out. I travel a lot when I can find bird sitters and we take them with us when I can't. I drink, prolly to excess, but I rarely get sick because my body is a hostile environment to germs (or maybe no SELF RESPECTING germ would LIVE in my body?) I collect: gnomes, passport stamps, MONEY-preferably US dollars or Euros, red headed womyn and chicks named Stephanie. My Momma taught me many many years ago that girls don't fart, they foosie. She taught me lots of other chit too. Thanks for stopping by-leave me a comment and let me know you were here, feel free to link to me, or email me at jacquelynn.fortner@gmail.com

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Muchas Gracias, Ya'll!

I love Splenda.  I think we've established that.  But personally?  I have no interest in getting a gram of fiber in every pack.  My coffee already has body, thank you very much.  AND it has its laxative properties as it is-I certainly don't need any more fiber greasing up THOSE wheels.


Oh, shit.  I wrote that down.  I thought it was just in my head.

I had thought I was going to start out today by acknowledging two very special awards from two of my favorite followers.  They gave me these in a period when I was having doubts about my blogging and helped me realize just how very important it is to me.  

First, from Amber at Proud Army Wife and Momma of Two, I got this little beauty:

And second, from Christine at Strange Pilgram, I got this, my second fucking fabulous award from her:

Thank you both very much.  It is really nice to know that someone out there in Blogsville appreciates me as much as I appreciate you all.

Last night's hockey game sucked major hind tit-we lost, 4-2 against Cincinnati.  It wouldn't have been so bad if it had been a good game, but the boys just played with no aggression whatsoever.  I think it being Youth for Christ (I can't help but hear YOOT for Christ in my head, ala Joe Pesci) night may have been holding them back, but I could be wrong.  I guess that doesn't bode well for tonight, as tonight's theme is Pink in the Rink. *laughs hysterically*  I'm sorry.  I know it's a good cause, but come on.  If they are in pink jerseys with pink hair playing against a team that beat the snot out of them the night before, I just don't have overly high hopes for them tonight.  I just hope nobody ends up being carried out on a stretcher.

Speaking of which, the Innocent Bystander checked in today.  As soon as he got back to the Fatherland he had to go to a school that the petroleum company he indirectly works for (rhymes with WELL) is requiring.  It is a water safety course where they put him in a helicopter simulator, then drop it into a pool until it is submerged, then he has to unstrap and escape through a window.  He said that wasn't too bad, but the second time they put you in, drop you, then SPIN it once before you can get out, and the THIRD time they spin it TWICE.  He said some of the guys in the school can't even technically swim-a lot of them pay someone to take their swimming test for them.  The only reason they passed this one is that they all managed to get out of the helicopter, which was the only requirement for this test.  He said several of them had to be rescued by divers because they nearly drowned, and that he personally got a good stomach full of water in the process, bless his heart. 

Now I am fixing to hit the road.  El Juevo and I are going to do something today-I left it up to him.  Movie, casino, shopping-whatever floats his boat.  I can't stay here at the houseboat-there is a big bass tournament going on, and about every twenty minutes, I look up and see someone eight feet away looking at me through my picture window sitting her in my jammies whilst they cast between the houseboats.  Creepy.  Prolly creepier that I haven't gotten up and put something on, but fuck'em.  This is my HOUSE.  In any case, I'm outta here.  Hasta luego!


Rebecca Hickman said...

You are so right about Splenda.

wesayitbetter said...

You're so right about coffee.

derfina said...

Once in a while I'm right about something. *smooches* to you both!

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

Have a great day at the movies or the whatever. The people peeking in your window? Creepy weird.