About Me

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I love a lot. I wait a lot. I try to find a lot to laugh at. I don't usually have trouble with that. I pray a lot. I'm not always sure who or what I pray to, but I firmly believe that prayer makes a difference. I try not to panic very often. I try to learn something new every day. I spend a lot of time poking my nose into other peoples' bidness via their blogs. I clean up an awful lot of feathers. You can dress me up, but you can't really take me out. I travel a lot when I can find bird sitters and we take them with us when I can't. I drink, prolly to excess, but I rarely get sick because my body is a hostile environment to germs (or maybe no SELF RESPECTING germ would LIVE in my body?) I collect: gnomes, passport stamps, MONEY-preferably US dollars or Euros, red headed womyn and chicks named Stephanie. My Momma taught me many many years ago that girls don't fart, they foosie. She taught me lots of other chit too. Thanks for stopping by-leave me a comment and let me know you were here, feel free to link to me, or email me at jacquelynn.fortner@gmail.com

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Hallelujah! Another Sunday Bleme-Oh, YAY.

Well, today makes three weeks that these eggs have been sat upon, so if Ahab(ella)'s eggs are going to hatch, they should start any time now.  There is an awful lot of noise and activity going on in that box (and obviously the proud papa above to be, Moby, is not going to let me get close enough to check), so I'm going to use this as an excuse to use today's Sunday Stealings: The Procrastination Tool Meme, just in case I have to assist in the labor and delivery, if indeed that is what is happening.  It also allows me to save the posts I'm rolling around in my head for next week, SO.

Cheers to all us thieves! 

1. What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?  Depends.  For a nice family dinner, High Cotton. For just everyday, dependable, greasy hangover food, the Awful Waffle (Waffle House, for those of you unfamiliar with my 'history' here *snort*)

2. What food could you eat for 2 weeks straight and not get sick of it? Probably lentils and wild rice with lots of onion and garlic.  I am trying to get rid of some excess Jackie right now, and high fiber, low fat has always been very effective for me.  They are yummy and they make you poop good, as my grandma would say.

3. Have you ever had anything removed from your body? *SNORT* Uh...*titters some more* What a loaded question.  How about the obvious two children (one who happened to weigh 9lbs 12 oz and had a SQUARE head)?  Then, there is always my beloved, currently in The Fatherland.  Oh, yeah, also a uterus and various and sundry cysts, moles, hair...and occasionally, my better judgement.

4. What is the last heavy item you lifted?  Take your pick-flats of water or sacks of dog (read:duck/goose) and cat food.

5. Have you ever been knocked unconscious?  Only by anesthesia.

6. If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?  See, this is the part of blogging, especially with blemes, that is hard, because I really don't have time to think about all of the implications as this is off the top of my head, but without really delving into the philosophical aspects of it, yes.  I would like to be able to tell everyone how special they are to me (how very relevant, considering our loss of Lisa this weekend).  I'm sure if I knew HOW I was going to die, it might color my answer, but in the interest in this not being a post of its own, I will leave it at that.

7. If you could change your name, what would you change it to?  Dixie Dahling? (Give me a break-off the top of myne head, I tell ya!)

8. What’s your goal for the year?  To travel as much as possible and perhaps to get paid in some manner for something I write.

9. Last person you hugged?  Momma and Daddy.

10. First place you went this morning?  Outside to feed the *%#^ing ducks and geese, the bane of my existence in the netherworld of sleep.

11. Do you always answer your phone?  Once in a while to teach El Juevo a lesson about what goes around comes around, no.  The little shit will sit there and watch his phone ring and not answer it, but if I text him, he texts right back.  I roll around on the floor laughing when I finally deign to call him and he freaks out on me, all "Where have you been? I've been trying to call you for hours!"  Payback is hell.

12. It’s four in the morning and you get a text message, who is it?  Probably my fucking dentist's office.  I love him longtime, mista (or in this case, docta) , but they have a weird automatic reminder system that must be set up in Timbuktu's time zone.

13. If you could change your eye color what would it be?  Green.  Who wouldn't want green eyes?

14. What’s on your wish list for your birthday?  Travel.  I'd rather travel than have things, any day.

15. Does the future make you more nervous or excited?  Excited.  I want to get some ON me.

16. Do you have any saved texts?  Nope.  I have some I've not erased yet, but not because I'm saving them, just because I'm lazy.

17. Ever been in a car wreck?  Yep.  Nothing exciting, but enough of a jolt that I always wear my seatbelt now.  It was a classic case of someone running a stop sign and broadsiding me within A MILE of my home.

18. Do you have an accent?  I reckon.  I have been here for *gasp* THIRTY THREE years.  Why is it then, that I still feel like an outsider looking in, an amateur anthropologist studying the thems?

19. What was the last song to make you cry? Johnny Cash "Hurt"

20. What did you do last night?  Sent emails back and forth to the Innocent Bystander, watched stupid sitcoms, researched some places in Barcelona, and read random Wikipedia articles.

21. Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom?  No, although I've done made some stupid decisions here and there in life.  Who hasn't?

22. Current hate right now?  I don't hate.  I dislike intensely.  I INTENSELY DISLIKE FEATHERS AND TURDS RIGHT NOW.  PROBABLY WILL LATER, TOO.

23. Met someone who changed your life?  Not met, but Chris Cuomo jumping off that building on Good Morning America did.  I 'gave up' my fear of heights after I saw him do that.

24. How did you bring in the New Year?  *smiles fondly, remembering*  With the IB.  I think we were still up at the Shingle Mill at midnight, but came back to the houseboat as soon as the ball finished dropping and the liplock was over.  ^^groucho eyebrows^^

25. What song represents you?  Jesse Colin Young "Do It Slow"


La Belette Rouge said...

Dixie Dahling: Birds scare me. My grandmother had a parakeet and all the feathers, poop, the feet and the beak bites turned me off. I like birds in nature but I could never have one as a pet. I think it is unwise to have a pet I am afraid of and couldn't touch( afraid it would bite me).

I love that there is a restaurant called the Awful Waffle!!

Hootin' Anni said...

I love Dixie Dahling!!!!!

Mine is posted. I do hope you can come join me and view, it'd make my day. Thanks, and have a great Sunday.

NurseExec said...

"Hurt" is a killer...

That.Girl said...

Wow, congrats on a 9 pound baby! I can't even imagine. My son was only 7 lbs 10.5 oz. and that was tough enough...

derfina said...

La Belette Rouge-Awful Waffle is a fond nickname for Waffle House-it's a love-love relationship, no matter how you look at it.

Hootin' Anni-Love the name! I'm on my way!

NurseExec-It is. Makes everything in the room disappear when I listen to him.

That.Girl-The nine pounds wasn't so bad, but the square head? Not so good.

*smooches* to all!

darsden said...

Oh, you might be a grandmama again that would be cool having lil birds.(more feathers - eventually LOL)
Learn sumpin' new about you every day dixie dahling - rotflmao

Square head *f**king* hilarious

L@@K tell ya mama quit calling me, I am busy!!!

Mimi Lenox said...

You DO live in the river. Wow. What a great pic. Happy Sunday Stealing!

Melissa said...

Thanks for sharing Cash's "Hurt". Amazing song.

♥ Braja said...

Hey Dixie Dahling...that's more like it :))

Jayne d'Arcy said...

Cash's rendition of HURT is fantastic and worth a few tears.

Improbable Joe said...

Does anyone ever like feathers and poop?

Mama Dawg said...

I only save certain texts. Otherwise, I delete 'em all.

And I LOVE me some Cash.

Captain Steve said...

I'm with you on the turds and feathers feelings.

derfina said...

Dar-*clears throat* Grandma "AGAIN"? WTF?

Mimi-I certainly do. I'm in it up to my neck!

Melissa-It is amazing, isn't it?

Braja-When I was preggers with El Juevo I dreamed he was born a girl and she had six teeth and I named her Dixie. *wink*

Jayne-For some reason, it makes me think of my Daddy. Go figger.

Improbable Joe-You'd be AMAZED, I've found in my travels around Blogsville, at what some people can LOVE. *shudders*

Mama Dawg-I don't save any. I just never get around to deleting.

Captain Steve-They are both the ENEMY.

*smooches* to all!

darsden said...

uhmmm derfina didn't your son just have a daughter?

darsden said...

Actually I should say adopted a beautiful lil (puppy) daughter.

derfina said...

Dar-I guess ya got me there-I wasn't thinking of the granddog. It's just that I had an actual hand in the making of any potential grandbirds, whereas Nanook of the north or whatever they named her is still a two dimensional reality to me. And it's prolly a moot point as I hear no crackin' going on in this here box. *smooches*