The Countdown Begins

*sings at the top of her lungs*  TOOOMORROWWW!  TOOOOMORROWWW!  I'LL BOINK YA!  TOOOMORROWWW!  IT'S ONLY...A DAAAAYYYYY....AHHH.....WAAAAYYYYYY!!!   YOWZA!

How nice.  That got the birdies going better than the Good Morning Jesus song did this morning. They must know Daddy's coming home.  I'm going to give them the benefit of the doubt, anyway, 'cuz otherwise I'm fixing to make me some African Grey gumbo.  Nemo has been a royal pain in my fanny this morning.  I just fixed him a bowl of fresh pellets, a bowl of fresh Special K, and a bowl of fresh carrots, corn on the cob, celery, apple, globe grapes (the only grapes he will eat) and raspberries.  What does he do?  He starts throwing food at me and pulling his dishes off the cage because I neglected to fill up his peanut holder.  Ungrateful little shitfactory.  

Speaking of Africans (like that segue, do ya?) I reminded the Innocent Bystander to wish everyone a happy Kwanzaa before he leaves the Fatherland.  He reported in this morning.  He has been from his boat to Warri to Lagos, through two airports, and says that NO ONE knew what the flock he was talking about.  I could do a whole post on the parallels between the seven principals of Kwanzaa here and in Nigeria, but then I would be walking that racist tightrope again, and I certainly wouldn't want that.  Besides...for the sake of THIS blog, I'm not that deep. *church lady look*  

Well, I rectom I'd better cut this short today.  I went over to the house to get a bottle of non-fartwater so I could make coffee this morning and my neighbor stopped me on my way out. Seems she needs someone to take pictures of bruises she has all over her arms, chest, legs etc. I didn't get the details, but evidently there is trouble in paradise, because when I got back from the house, her boyfriend was back and he's packing all of his stuff up.  I guess she'll be over here soon so I can document her 'evidence'.  Hope he doesn't turn all her gas on like he did last time. I have been watching out of one eye whilst I wrote this, and he just finished getting his boat on the trailer, so it looks like they may mean business, although this isn't the first time this has happened.  

See ya'll tomorrow!  I imagine I will be ON MY GAME so you can expect all kinds of merriment as I ready the girly bits for their final deflowering of the year.  Can you FEEL the excitement?

Lagniappe:

Flooded in. Again.

Oh shit oh dear.

I was awakened at 7:30 this morning to my neighbor informing me that I'd better get up and get my truck out of here.  I looked out the window and saw that the river is flooding again, and my driveway and planters were already completely underwater.  Dammit janet, when is this gonna end?  I thought I had already declared my hurricane season to be over?  I put my boots on and drove up to high ground and waded back here to the houseboat wondering if I should have put the birds in the truck and just gone to the house.  Now it's too late, unless I slog through water up past my knees carrying bird cages and my computer.  To add to my dilemma, I went outside a few minutes ago and noticed that my southernmost stanchion looks like it is collapsing toward the bank.  My neighbor is trying to brace it up, and I am tied off to seven or eight trees/other stanchions, so I'm not too worried about it, but I made the mistake of emailing Johnny about it, so now he is going to worry about it until he gets home.  Sneaky passive aggressive move, if I'm being honest.  Share the suffering.  *snort*

Anyone know a good bird sitter?  I need someone willing to come stay at the houseboat so I can go see Ronny and Jamie in Dover next week.  The birds require about an hour of actual care a day, and provide hours of entertainment, what with talking about boogers and such.  Perfect setting for artistic types-I wish I could paint, because it truly is beautiful out here.  And having the Shingle Mill 400 feet from the front door doesn't hurt either.  Beer, birds, boating...any takers?

Uckfay emay.  I heard a motor so I went outside to see what it was and it was a tractor pulling cars and trucks out of the other end of the parking lot.  I decided maybe I ought to go move the truck out of the parking lot and up the road a bit, but before I could get my boots on, a feederband started letting loose on us and drove me back inside.  Now the wind is blowing like a son of a bitch and the boat is pitching around and I'm beginning to feel rather Dorothy-ish.  This bites, and we are only under a tropical storm warning (which I was not aware of when I went to bed last night-as I said, I had already declared my hurricane season over so I was not watching the farging weather channel 24/7 anymore).  Now the power is flickering, so I am going to post this before it goes out completely and I'm without internet.  Thank God for my Iphone.  At least I hope it will work.  Of course I'm new at this, so I don't know how to update from my phone, but at least I should be able to look at weather reports, etc.  Again, I hope!