I had a minor meltdown. I told you all about the Innocent Bystander getting a bit peeved about a post I made. Since then, whenever I've mentioned sitting down to write, he's gotten this look of distaste on his face or come up with something else we need to do. Don't get me wrong-he's not being an asshole about it, but his attitude makes me feel stupid for letting it become so important to me. He is not at all impressed with it, and frankly, it hurts that the person who I care most about in this world has no interest whatsoever in my joy over certain comments or increases in ratings or new friends, because those things DO give me joy. So, in a rather passive aggressive (in retrospect) attempt to punish myself (or him-I'm not sure which) I did not touch my computer for six days. I figured if I I get on, I am either writing, reading your posts or doing something blog related, so if I just stayed away, I could avoid the elephant in the room. It was six days of pure torture. I felt as if I'd experienced a death somehow. I was miserable.
Then last night, I decided I'd had enough of this nonsense and I got online to check my mail. I'd recieved an email from my cousin. I started reading it and thinking, wow, this is pretty good. Then I realized that I had written it as a post on another blog I occasionally post on, Ornery Woman. And I thought, you know what? I may write pure crap some days, but sometimes I get it close to alright, and I get a lot of satisfaction in that. So, Dood, if you are reading this (although he said he's never reading it again), I love you honey, but FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING FUCK. I may never make a penny writing, but it makes me feel good, so go take your damn nap-I don't complain about those or act like those are a waste of time, do I?
Posts
