About Me

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I love a lot. I wait a lot. I try to find a lot to laugh at. I don't usually have trouble with that. I pray a lot. I'm not always sure who or what I pray to, but I firmly believe that prayer makes a difference. I try not to panic very often. I try to learn something new every day. I spend a lot of time poking my nose into other peoples' bidness via their blogs. I clean up an awful lot of feathers. You can dress me up, but you can't really take me out. I travel a lot when I can find bird sitters and we take them with us when I can't. I drink, prolly to excess, but I rarely get sick because my body is a hostile environment to germs (or maybe no SELF RESPECTING germ would LIVE in my body?) I collect: gnomes, passport stamps, MONEY-preferably US dollars or Euros, red headed womyn and chicks named Stephanie. My Momma taught me many many years ago that girls don't fart, they foosie. She taught me lots of other chit too. Thanks for stopping by-leave me a comment and let me know you were here, feel free to link to me, or email me at jacquelynn.fortner@gmail.com
Showing posts with label collards. Show all posts
Showing posts with label collards. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

A Bowlful of Leaves

Mmmmmm.  I hate to be my own cooking's biggest fan, but there it is.  I make some kickass greens.

Too bad the rest of the evening did not turn out as well.  First off, about the time the greens were done, my neighbor hollered over and said she'd bring me some beans soon, but that it didn't look like anyone else was cooking anything as they'd been up at the Shingle Mill drinking all day.  Neither one of us really wanted to turn on our ovens, but I just couldn't bear the thought of beans n' greens with no cornbread, so I warmed up some bacon grease and baked my first ever batch of homemeade.  Not to toot my own horn, but it turned out to be pretty darn good.  The neighbor brought over some beans, and said that her boyfriend was going out of town and "better not come back".  I said "What?" and she repeated herself.  Anyway, about thirty minutes after I ate, I went outside to sit on the deck to read and enjoy the beautiful weather when all of a sudden I heard "Jackie call the police!".  I looked out to the road and saw the two of them out there.  He had her with his arms wrapped around her midsection holding her arms down and was carrying her down the road with her struggling to get away and she hollered again for me to call the police.  I did not see him hit her, just saw that he was trying to restrain her against her will, so I came in and looked up the number to the sheriff's department's non 911 line.  They took the information and were out here within 5 minutes, which was outstanding.  They spent about thirty minutes questioning them both then stood by while he got some of his stuff out of the houseboat and left, then they left.  She went back into her houseboat for a few minutes, then came over here shaking and asking to use my phone.  She said when she went into the houseboat, she smelled gas, and that he had turned on all the burners on their stove and oven with no pilot lit.  (I was not aware they have a gas stove and am keeping in mind that I am only getting one side of the story.)  We both discussed what kind of vindictive rat bastard would do that, knowing she would go in there smoking, and I did tell her that he struck me as the sort who was going to have the mindset of "if I can't stay there, neither will she" (to give credit where credit is due, he has put in an incredible amount of labor and materials to just about double the interior size of her houseboat, so I'm sure he feels it's half his).  She also said that he took keys to all her sheds, all of her bottled drinking water (a big deal out here) and that he had stolen a pistol from her a couple weeks ago.  She said part of the reason she wanted him to leave was she found out a lot of things about his past that she was unaware of, from court ordered probation to spousal abuse to gun charges.  Needless to say I did not sleep well.

In the cool light of day, with a bowlful of leaves and pot likker and a nice chunk of cornbread, everything looks so shiny and pleasant it is hard to imagine that everyone can't just get along.  But then I remember...close quarters, flooding, two back to back hurricane scares and the pressures of remodeling IN those close quarters, and it is not so hard to fathom shattered nerves.  I thank God I am so blessed with my own family and friends.  I've been in those shoes.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Community meal on the river tonight!

Ahhh.  The first hint of fall.  *heavy sigh*  I got my first taste this morning.  I went outside to pull the curtains and it was actually colder outside than it was in here in the air conditioning.  I immediately ran back inside, turned both a/c's off and threw open the windows.  It is just loverly.

Kinda energized me.  I finally got out and ventured into the shed, which was not nearly as bad as I thought it would be, all things considered.  Stuff was tossed about and the floor is really frightening to walk on as the particle board is all warped at the points where it overlaps, but there was not nearly as much mud and muck as I'd expected.  Last time it was really bad, but this time I had more ants to deal with than mud.  I will probably go back out tomorrow and do a better job of organizing it and might even haul a load of crap out for a change instead of waiting for Johnny to get home.  The spiders do give me pause, though.  I'm usually all "Oh, don't kill it-they eat bugs" but you'da never believed it watching me do the "OHSHITOHDEAR WHERE DID THEY GO IS THAT HAIR IN MY FACE OR WEB" spastic flailing I was doing coming out of there.  I am not talking about a spider, folks.  I am talking thousands.

Since I was in the get chit outside done mode, I grabbed the weedeater and attacked some of the Y-weeds that have gone apeshit in the yard around the shed.  That was a treat.  There is no way to avoid the little fiddler crabs that are just everywhere since the water receded.  Every time I stepped on one, I'd think "Crunchy, but with a creamy center".  Totally grossing myself out.  Gah.

As I was finishing up, my neighbor heard me banging around and came out and said she was making a big pot of lima beans for dinner, and to come join them for a bowl.  I told her I'd like that, and that since I was hankering for some collards, I'd make a mess of them.  She said someone was making cornbread, and somebody else was making cobbler, so it is turning into a 'thang'.  One of the older guys is out there fishing, and just caught a beautiful white perch, so maybe he will scare us up some fish to fry.  That is a really nice thing about living in this little community of houseboats.  They naturally lend themselves to only one or two people living in each one since they are so small so when anyone is making something like that that you really have to make a whole batch of, everyone tends to kind of 'stone soup' it and turn it into a potluck of sorts.  It doesn't make sense to cook beans or collards for just one or two people so we all get together to eat probably once or twice a month.  This beautiful weather is the icing on the cake!

(Fortunately Johnny is still in Nigeria, so I can fart all night at will and not feel obligated to smother them *snort*)