Final Day in Costa Rica

We left Jaco with Mario about ten and told him we just wanted a leisurely drive back to San Jose, and that we wanted to stop at the soda that we'd stopped at on our first day for lunch.  He started out with his MP3 player playing some really offensive rap crap that was in english.  I mean, this stuff was the epitome of why I hate most rap-fuck the bitches and stab the cops shit and n----- this and...well, you get the picture.  The Innocent Bystander was giving me some eye english that let me know in no uncertain terms that he was not going to be able to put up with that for two hours, and sure enough, after about the third song, he told Mario to pull over.  The IB got out his Iphone and pulled up a playlist of Latin American music and the gringos actually introduced the tico to some new (for him) artists.  After we got going again, he held up his MP3 player again and explained that he had borrowed it from his ten year old son.  *blink*

I asked him how many kids he had and he said ten.  Johnny and I both looked at him, eyebrows raised.  "DIEZ?" we both asked.  He nodded and repeated it.  Ten.  Then he looked at the IB sideways and said "No TV."  It took half a beat, and we all burst into laughter.  No TV.  What a card.

We stopped at the roadside soda at the top of the mountain and found that they had all the same souveniers that we'd bought in Jaco for about a third of the prices we'd paid.  We all decided to have a casada one last time (because we had big plans for dinner) and discovered that this little hole in the wall had the best food we'd eaten thus far!  The IB even finally got some queso frita (a fried white cheese) that he'd been hunting the whole time we'd been in Costa Rica.  After a wonderful meal, we proceded on to the hotel.

We stayed at the Hotel El Rodeo, a four-star, ecologically sustainable hotel ten minutes from the airport.  Mario took us in and helped us get checked in, then told the IB to hang on a minute, that he had a present for him.  He ran out to the taxi, and when he came back, he had his hand behind his back.  When he brought it to the front, I started crying, for there in his hand was Igor, his little iguana that rode everywhere he went in his taxi.  We insisted that Igor needed to stay with him, but he insisted that we take him, and that the IB take him to Nigeria and let him ride on the boat with him.  I sobbed like a baby.  We exchanged email addresses, and said that we would take him with us on all of our travels and send him pictures of everywhere Igor goes.  It was SO HARD to tell him goodbye.  I am tearing up just thinking about it.  Mario es mi amigo y amo a Igor.

The hotel was very nice.  It was a welcome change to be in an air conditioned room, so we both took our first shower that 'took' for the whole trip.  We went for a walk around the grounds and basically just took it easy for the rest of the afternoon. ^^groucho eyebrows^^  When we came up for air, it was time for dinner, which was the whole reason the IB had chosen this particular hotel.  The El Rodeo Steakhouse is supposedly "the best in the country for 27 years."  I believe them.  The IB had a SLAB O'Beef and I had a much smaller version (sorry Braja!  I'm a carnivore, what can I say?).  They were very, very good, but mine was so rich I had to go into the bathroom and *searches for a delicate way to put this* puke it all up.  I didn't feel sick though, so I returned to the table and finished my dinner with no problems.

The trip home was uneventful other than the last minute dash to catch our connecting flight in Houston.  By the time we got through customs and immigration, our flight was already loading before we even got to our terminal, so we ended up getting to be those people you always see being driven through the airport on one of those little annoying electric carts-we flagged one down and he was happy to give us a ride!  It is the only thing that kept us from missing the flight, but it was okay since we were in first class (thanks again, frequent flyer miles!).

Impressions.  We as US Americans take a lot of things for granted.  We assume that when we go to the bathroom, you put the toilet paper IN the toilet and flush it down, but it doesn't work that way all over the world.  Costa Rica's septic systems are so delicate that they have signs in all the restrooms advising you to please NOT FLUSH toilet paper down the toilet.  There are wastebaskets provided and you are supposed to deposit your used tissue there, which seems very unsanitary but is necessary to keep the pipes from clogging.  We also take for granted that when someone says American they are talking about US Americans.  One woman from the states who was on the safari cruise asked "How can they call them American crocodiles if they are here in Costa Rica?"  I wanted to get up and bitch slap her.  We also take our natural resources for granted.  I don't think we talked to any Costa Ricans who were not acutely aware of their environment and the impact both tourism and development are having on their country and its flora and fauna.  I heard from several different people how it 'used to be' so tranquil (and they say it so beautifully "trankeel"), but that you had to go deeper and deeper into the mountains to find that tranquility anymore.  Progress.  ^^shrug^^

All in all, a wonderful trip, a wonderful country, a wonderful people.  A new piece in the puzzle of my life.  New experiences, new friends.  Isn't that what it's all about?

*smooches*

Final Day in Jaco

Our final day in Jaco was devoted to the birds and the bees, and the flowers and the trees *hums* and the sta...*whacks self upside the head*  Sorry 'bout that.  Musta been something I...oh, nevermind.  We decided to devote the morning to a little place called NeoFauna, a butterfly farm that also has an indigenous frog and snake collection.  The proceeds from this place go to support a jaguar protection program as the jaguar in Costa Rica are now endangered.  

The guy that gives the tour, Randal, was a charming fellow who spoke fluent English.  He was very knowledgeable about all of the animals in their care, and you could tell that he really loves his work.  He started out by taking us through their collection of frogs and snakes.  The Innocent Bystander was really looking forward to seeing some poison dart frogs, and the first three aquariums held three distinct species of them.

He then showed us his snakes, but they were all in aquariums, so we did not get any good pictures but one.  I can't remember what species this one is, but I do remember thinking I'd like to see some shoes in this pattern. (I know...Shame on me!)

And then there was Mikey.  Mikey is a capuchin monkey that was raised as a pet, but he was being mistreated and was reported to NeoFauna who rescued him.  He was malnourished and in poor health.  He is used to humans, both fortunately (so I got to play with him) and unfortunately (because now he is reliant on them), so once they get him back to health they will have to work on reestablishing him with another group of monkeys who can teach him how to forage and fend for himself before they can release him back into the wild.  He is extremely cute, and his little fingers are just like little baby fingers and so soft.  Randal offered to let me into the enclosure, but I know too much about the little buggers to even consider it.  Also, I thought it was kind of a weird offer if they are trying to ready him to return to the wild, eh?

After we finished with the snakes (which did not take long as neither the IB or I have any interest in them other than knowing that they are behind protective glass) and Mikey, we went into the butterfly enclosure.  Again, we only got good pictures of one species (they just never quit flapping around, damn them!), the owl butterfly which is a beautiful blue on one side and has the face of an owl on the reverse.  The angle we got the owl face at does not do it justice, because when the wings are fully extended it looks just like an owl looking at you.  Really weird.

The last little feller we met was this guy, who is about the most awesome little frog I've ever seen, the red eyed leaf frog.  A picture speaks a thousand words.

All in all, it was a fabulous morning, but then we had an evening cruise on the Jungle Crocodile Safari Tour, a two hour boat ride up the Tarcoles river, where we saw about fifteen crocodiles and between 25-40 species of birds, including Scarlet Macaws, Toucans, Ibis, Amazon Parrots, Kingfishers of several varieties, cranes of about a dozen varieties, and many more that I would have to get my list out to name.  Unfortunately, at that distance you would have to have a telephoto lens to get any pictures worth a flip, so I have nothing *holds out hands plaintively*. We tried, but no point putting up pictures of a bunch of leaves, so go grab your fruit loops box-I saw THAT.  

Well, I've used up naptime, so I'm off to finish the gumbo and make some tater salad, so I guess tomorrow I will tell you about our last day in Costa Rica and my impressions overall.  Pura vida!

Mario and Manuel Antonio

When we arrived in Costa Rica we were picked up by a driver who had been arranged for us by Jan and Greg at the hotel.  Mario is a charming fellow who has been driving for them for the five years since the hotel has been open, and were they ever lucky to snap him up!  He is very passionate and knowledgeable about his country, and was careful to speak clearly and slowly so that we two gringos could keep up with the conversation.  He spoke fairly good English, but when he found out we both speak bastardized and butchered Spanish, he decided he was only going to speak Spanish to us unless we really couldn't finger out what he was trying to say.

On the way to the hotel, he took us to this awesome little soda (roadside restaurant) at the top of a mountain looking out over a large valley and off into another set of peaks.  Absolutely stunning views that my pictures don't even come close to doing justice to.  We had a cup of Costa Rican coffee. (Ehh...*waves hand back and forth*...I wasn't that impressed as I prefer a much stronger more bitey coffee, but I had thought to bring along my Splenda and my Italian Sweet Cream Coffeemate so it was drinkable) (no, they do NOT pay me!)

We got back in the car to finish our trip through the mountains, and along the way, Mario introduced us to his companion Igor, a little toy iguana he kept on his dashboard, who will re-enter the story later.  When he dropped us off at the hotel, we told him that we would have Jan and Greg call him to arrange when next to pick us up, as he is their driver for long rides, but local taxis would be our in town transportation.  We did, however, arrange right then for him to pick us up on our last day to return us to San Jose for our flight home.

When we got back from the zipline tour on our first full day in country, we hit the pool for awhile, then headed into Jaco proper.  Jaco is pretty much like any other beach town or tourist town-one main street of tourist shop after tourist shop, selling all manner of towels, bathing suits, jewelry and rosewood carvings.  We don't really 'do' souveniers, but I picked up a couple of little things that would be easily packed, and we found some dinner (excellent fish-mahi mahi and seabass, primarily) and a grocery store to procure our beer for the night (Imperial and Imperial Light substitute remarkably well for Busch and Busch Light in a pinch).  After much discussion and debate with Jan and Greg and some friends of theirs who were down from Canada, we decided to get Mario to take us to Quepos, a town about one and a half hours away, to visit a National Wildlife Refuge there called Manuel Antonio.

It was a beautiful day-perfect for hiking.  We, along with one other couple, hired a guide to take us through the trails.  It was well worth the money.  The guides see things you would NEVER be able to pick out on their own, and they carry these telescopes on tripods, and zero right in on things.  He also does a little lecture, pointing out different plants and fruits and barks and telling us about them in this very dry voice (imagine Ben Stein's monotone with a Spanish accent).  He'd say things like, "In Costa Rica, with this tree, they take the bark and they boil it in the water, then they drink the water.  This is good for headaches." or "In Costa Rica, they take the leaves of this plant, and boil it in the water, then they breath in the steam of this plant.  They do this for three days and it cures the asthma."  Evidently, for every plant in Costa Rica, there is a potion to be made.

We were very fortunate right off to see our second batch of capuchin monkeys (we'd seen a few the day before on the zipline tour briefing) (these are the little white faced monkeys that are used as helpers for wheelchair bound patients).  They are so cute!  We could also hear howler monkeys, which sound just like their name suggests, but we never did get close to them.  We saw iguanas and basilisks (also known as the Jesus Christ lizard because it can 'walk' on water), crabs, bees both of the itty bitty variety that don't sting and the African Killer variety, which were fortunately WAAY up in the trees, bats, sloths (which is really just like saying we saw a couple of wads of hair in a tree because they ain't kiddin' folks-those suckers to not MOVE), a porcupine, and probably ten or so more things I'm forgetting.  It was most definitely a blast.  

After the tour was done, we walked over to a soda on the beach with Mario, who had waited to take us back to the hotel.  We had a lovely open air lunch (all the sodas are pretty much open air) of barbecued pork and chicken, along with yuca which neither of us had ever eaten. Surprise, surprise!  It is just like potato, but with a little more fiber.  Very yummy.  

On the way back to the hotel, Mario told us that he wanted to take a detour and show us something.  He started teasing us about La Sirena, which he expected us to understand as we are big Mana fans (a Latin American band who has a song by that name).  When he finally realized we weren't going to get it, he just said one word and it came to both of us-mermaid. He turned down a series of little secondary roads in a residential area and we came out on the beach.  Out about a hundred yards in the surf was a large rock sticking out of the ocean, and mounted (heh-I said mounted) on top was this statue of a mermaid.  We tried to get pictures, but they did not come out worth a flip, so pfft.  When we got back in the car, Mario kept talking about how sad it was.  I finally asked him what was so sad, and he told me that many people had died surfing in that area because of the rocks scattered under the surf, and that the man who had had the statue built commissioned the artist to give the bronze the face of his daughter, who was one of the victims.  Gave me a piss shiver, that one did.

I think I will quit pushing my luck and close this for now, and finish up the story tomorrow.  I am trying to catch up on your blogs too, and have two, count'em, TWO awards to acknowledge, so this is a busy week for me.  Add to that the Superbowl and the fact that the Innocent Bystander goes back to the Fatherland on Wednesday, and hopefully you'll forgive me for drawing this out so long.  Hasta manana, ya'll!

Pura Vida!

We're baaaa-aaaack! Didja miss me? Didja? Huh? Huh?

We had a blast. Costa Rica is a beautiful country, and the people there are very proud of it and very aware of what a fragile ecological balance beam they must walk to promote tourism but still protect the things that make it so attractive.

I guess you all heard that within an hour of our arrival, the country was hit with a 6.2 tremblar which beats my old record of 4.7. What can I say? We really didn't mean to hurt anyone! Honestly, we were so busy going through customs and immigration we did not even feel it. We were not witness to any destruction other than what we saw on TV as we never went north of San Jose. The only thing I saw that was obvious was a few areas of rock/dirtslides down some of the mountains on the side of the roads.

I'd heard from friends that had been to Costa Rica that the roads were really bad and that it took hours to get anywhere. There is mixed truth to that statement. The primary roads are just fine. The problem there is that the area is so mountainous that you are constantly on a curve, so your speed has to be kept in check. Fortunately for us, we had arranged to have a driver meet us at the airport, so we were able to just enjoy the absolutely breathtaking views around every single curve. I say fortunately, because those secondary roads? The ones where everything you want to get to are on? Holy shit is all I can say. Some of those car rides were as exciting as any roller coaster I've ever been on, and waaaaay more bumpy. The secondary roads are not paved, they are (I guess) just dynamited and bulldozed out of the mountains resulting in the rock version of a dirt road. In any case, I was glad the Innocent Bystander did not decide to try to rent a car and find stuff ourselves, because I think we would have spent much more time in our room than we did if we had.

Our hotel was up at the top a hill accessed by one of those secondary roads. It was a lovely room with a beautiful balcony view of the little surf town Jaco and the Pacific Ocean. The room was completely in tile and was nice and light and airy. The only problem we had was the humidity was so high and the room was not air conditioned, so we were constantly covered in a film of 'glisten' (read SLIME) for me and just plain SWEAT for him. For some reason, when we had researched the climate, we had prepared for the 'cool mountain breezes' and temperatures in the low 70s, max. I had three pairs of cargo pants and one, count'em, ONE pair of shorts. I also only took one package of men's plain white t-shirts thinking "Keep it simple, stupid." Stupid being the operative word in this case. Plain white t-shirt plus chubby curly headed gringo chick fresh out of the shower coated in 'glisten'? Not a purty sight, folks. I had thrown a couple of tank tops in my backpack to sleep in, so I ended up wearing those and doing laundry in the sink at night so it all worked out, but let's just say that my fashion statement for the trip was 'late hamper'.

Vista Hotel Pacifico itself is very small. It is run by a Canadian couple, Jan and Greg, who built it six years ago. There are a total of only nine rooms, so it is very intimate. They have a common area around the pool and office area where they serve a light breakfast of fruit, pastry and breads, yogurt and granola, juice and coffee every morning, so we were able to interact with the other guests, as well as Jan and Greg's dog Mika and their cat Whiskey, while we watched little parrotlets and Quaker parrots and these gorgeous little yellow bellied bandit looking birds that sounded like they were calling "Look at ME". We met people from Canada, Boston, Austria and Germany without ever leaving the hotel, and those were just the ones that spoke English. It was interesting talking with them, particularly the couple from Germany. I think they were rather surprised by us, particularly when they found out we were from 'the South'. Hopefully when they left, they had a different impression of what we, as US Americans, are like than the impression they seemed to have at the beginning, which they said they formed while watching coverage of Hurricane Katrina.

That was something about this vacation. I learned SO much. About the environment, about my husband, and about myself. I learned about relationships between birds and frogs and butterflies and crocodiles and people. I learned that my husband will jump out of a tree down a mountain for me. I learned that I retained MUCH more Spanish than I ever would have given myself credit for. I also learned that we as US Americans, can be very arrogant, and need to pay a LOT more attention to the relationships between ALL these things, including each other.

I have to go pick up El Juevo now, so I will tell you about some of our adventures tomorrow. One of which starts off like this:

Up up and away?

I didn't want to say anything until we had something firm...

*gasps*  Please.  Someone.  STOP ME!

*bitch slaps self, once AGAIN*

Okay.  Mo' betterer now. *clears throat*  What I was trying to say before I was so RUDELY interrupted... *snicker* (see?  I don't NEED anyone to entertain me...I do just FINE by myself.)

*closes eyes and mutters Muladhara Muladhara Muladhara*  Ahem.  

Holy moly.  I am on it today.  I guess I'm just excited.  The Innocent Bystander had me call Delta yesterday and rebook his flight for December 28th, so it looks like he is going to be home before the end of the year.  And, to sweeten the deal, he got a partial payment (note I said partial, but something is MUCH mo' betterer than nuttin' hunny) on his pay!  Of course, he already gave me my hush money for this hitch and near about half of what he was paid will go to Uncle Sam, but seeing some actual numbers in the account sure will make me sleep easier.

Anyway, since he has a semi-firm (ohchit-don't let me start again) (can you tell it's been over a month since I've been laid?) (help me decide how I'm going to wrap up my girlie bits for him this time ^^groucho eyebrows^^) (isn't that just the dorkiest airplane ever? If it had a name, it would be Yeep.) idea of when he's coming home, he decided last night to go ahead and plan our trip.  I have already purchased a loverly pair of hiking boots and have been breaking them in with regular mallwalks, so I have mentally been jumping out of trees and learning to speak monkey and trying to remember if poisonous snakes have triangle heads or diamond (diamond?  did someone say diamond?) *grips self by shoulders and shakes HARD* *blinks* What? *reads back*  Oh.  If poisonous snakes have diamond patterns or triangle heads.  Does it seem like I have ADD today?

So I'm at the house yesterday afternoon trying to get El Juevo ready for the hockey game (we won 2-0!) and the phone rings and it is the Innocent Bystander my ass.  He has been trying to find flights to Costa Rica, and could not find anything that would not have us leaving here at 4 in the morning to make a flight, so he decided to see what kind of deals he could find on flights to other destinations.  Since we have been bandying about a trip in April or May to Europe, he looked up tickets to Amsterdam, and found an absolutely fabulous deal on two first class seats, so his phone call was to run a change in destinations up my flagpole to see if I'd salute it.

What a dilemma.  I have really been looking forward to flying through trees with the greatest of ease and all that rot.  I also felt like the trip to Costa Rica was destined to be-when I was booking his return flight yesterday the operator I talked to was telling me that she is my age, she had a fear of heights, and she recently took the same trip and did the zipline thing and LOVED it.  Also, while I was boning up *rolls eyes* on the country, I discovered these:

Mysterious giant stone balls.  I mean, this is a tough decision.  On the one hand, I can have stone balls.  *laughs hysterically*  On the other, I could tromp through the cold snowy rainy streets of 'de Dam' in my new (waterproof) boots looking at beautiful paintings and loverly sculptures and all manner of people seeing how high they can fly their freak flags.  But we have been to Amsterdam twice already.  And we did have tentative plans to go there and Barcelona and maybe one more place in late spring or early summer.  And what can I say?  I'm greedy.  I want to do both.  I was torn.

Being as I am a 'have passport will travel' kind of girl, I left it up to him.  He said he would do some more research and let me know this morning where we will be going.  When I woke up this morning, I had an email from him and the destination is (insert drumroll here):

He has us booked from January 8-13th and Mom has agreed to birdsit.  Now I have to make some decisions as far as packing goes, because most of my summery clothes have been ruined by fartwater.  I do believe I may have a legitimate reason to shop for ME!

*hollers* "Oh, Daa-aarrr!"

Lagniappe: